Page 73 of Petals of Blue: Part Two
"Oh! Did you put in a good word for me so he can tell Kevin I'm ready to go back to work?"Please, please, please.
Roman laughs and swoops me up into his arms. I squeak and hold on tight, not wanting to let go when he plops me on the kitchen island. Releasing him with a pout, I await his response.
"I did, but you're not going back until Kevin says,Petal." Roman winks and starts pulling out ingredients for dinner.
"I can do that," I wiggle, trying to get down, but he stops me by pointing a box of noodles at me. "Stay there," he orders.
Huffing, I resituate myself. "When did you start cooking and baking?"
Getting to know them again feels weird, but I'm missing eleven years of information and hobbies they've tried. If this is going to work, then I need to figure out if I can love the men they've become. I'm not about to admit I'm already partially there.
"When Declan got out of the hospital after jumping into the pool in college, the guys and I made sure he stayed off his feet. We used to fend for ourselves when it came to food, but at that point, I started cooking for Dec, too. Then I realized how much I enjoyed being in the kitchen and cooking for my family."
Nodding, I allow more of my curiosity free. "And personal training? How did you get into that?"
He glances at me, and pain flashes in his brown eyes. Clearing his throat, he turns back to the fridge and grabs a slice of cold pizza from last night's box. He hands it to me and waits for me to take a bite before answering.He's always feeding me.
"After my parents admitted to manipulating us, I threw myself into anything that would distract my mind. School, working out, cooking...I filled my schedule so I could sleep at night."
"Roman..." I don't know what I'm going to say, but he cuts me off anyway.
"It just is what it is, Blue. I love my job, I have skills to feed my family, and a degree in something I don't think I'll ever use. But I'm educated," he adds with a shrug and comes to stand between my legs. I set my pizza aside. "And now you're here, in my arms. I'm happy, Blue."
"We lost so much time," I whisper, feeling emotional.
Roman nods sadly and drops his forehead to my shoulder as if he's breaking right in front of me. "I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry, Petal."
I allow the tears to fall and gather the man I'm falling for in my arms. He's no longer the boy who broke my heart. "I forgive you," I whimper, burying my face in his neck.
We hold each other for a long while, or at least until the water begins to boil and splash the hot burner. Sadly, he moves away to turn the burner down before coming back to me.
I have one more question Ineedto ask. I don't even know if I've already asked it, but I do know it's still bothering me, which means I'm not done talking about it.
"Why didn't you try to reach out? Text, call? Anything?"
Roman hangs his head for a moment, then reaches a trembling hand up to hold the back of my neck. When he looks me in the eye, all I see is regret and sadness.
"We didn't feel worthy of you. And I know, I fuckingknow, that is not a good reason, nor does it excuse the choice we made. But Blue..." His gaze bounces between my eyes as if he's seeing into my soul. "We were angry. Iwas depressed. Declan, Jared, Felix...we all struggled with something. It was ugly and scary for a long time. You didn't deserve to deal with four broken men just trying to survive each day."
"He's right," another voice agrees. Declan comes around the other side of the kitchen. "We were a mess. No way we could have groveled enough to win you back. Christ, I even think Roman forgot to tie his shoes for a while. That's how out of it he was."
"Thanks, man," Rome says dryly as Declan eats the slice of pizza I set on the counter.
I smile and sniffle at the same time. "We went from Washington to Minnesota for a few years, then to Chicago when I turned twenty-one. I've been all around trying to stick by Violet's side. You guys probably wouldn't have been able to deal with all of our moving and life with a teenager."
So maybe everything happened exactly how it should have.
"We would have done it without a second thought," Felix says, also entering the kitchen.Did they all get off work early today?"But we definitely wouldn't have been a good influence on Violet, nor would we have been able to support you as well as we can now."
I think about that as Felix comes to kiss me on the cheek. Felix moves to the fridge, and Roman leaves me to put the noodles in the pot before all of the water evaporates. Declan takes Rome's spot between my thighs and splays his hands across the sides of my asscheeks.
"What's going on in here?" Dec murmurs, referringto my mind as he kisses my forehead.So many kisses all the time.
I wrap my thumbs in his belt loops. "I was thinking that had you come to me like how you're describing, I wouldn't have allowed you near Violet. My main goal was keeping her away from toxicity, drama, and any kind of harm."
They nod, seeming to agree that I'm making sense. "Then I was wondering if fate isn't such a writhing bitch after all. You found me at the right time."
"Starting the night off with the deep ones, huh?" Jared joins us with a smile on his face and his black button-down partially undone.
