Page 13 of Petals of Blue: Part Two
“You have to keep fighting, Ma. Please. I need you to come home."
I can't see Violet, but I swear I can hear her. I can't seeanything. Am I dreaming? Maybe I'm truly losing my mind. It's cold and quiet. The air is so still I fear moving.
I disrupted the entire shed over the course of the day. My attempt to shake things loose didn't work. There's no escaping. Now, without the daytime to light my way, I lie curled behind the bags of grass seed. The sun took all semblance of safety with it.
My fear and imagination have reached new heights with the moon rising. I swear I've heard someone outside, but every scream for help went unanswered. Nobody's out there to help me, and I've exhausted all the ways I can help myself. I'm a sitting duck waiting for a predator to finish the job.
Unless this is some fucked up torture tactic. Letting me starve, freeze, dehydrate, and tremble to death.
"Don't give up, Petal. You're stronger than you're giving yourself credit for."I know Roman isn't here, but thinking about what he might say to me right now is nice. If I squeeze my eyes shut, I can almost feel his hands rubbing my arms.
If hallucinating helps me feel better, then why the fuck not? Am I right?
"I'm sure you're thinking we're just fine without you,"Jared's phantom voice sasses,"but that couldn't be further from the truth. You are needed, Blue.Wanted."
I imagine Declan would agree with his best friend."Yeah, don't let that beautiful brain trick you into giving up. It can be pretty convincing, and usually right, but not this time."
I snort-cough into my arm because I have truly crossed the barrier into delirium. My imaginary Declan commenting on how convincing I can be is hilarious. There were so,somany times in high school when Iencouragedhim to do things. He jumped off a cliff with me into a lake one summer. That was shocking. I had done it a few times alone when I ran away from home, so I knew I liked it.
For some reason, he listened to me when I explained how fun it would be. Felix waspissed. My God...That was probably the angriest I had ever seen him. Declan claimed it was actually fun and a huge adrenaline rush. Felix tried to ban us from ever going there again.
Then there was the time at the fair when I ushered him onto a ride that literally only spun in circles. I went with him, of course, but he fought me about it a little.Okay, a lot. I was convinced he would love it, though.
He threw up immediately after stepping off the ride. Jared thought it was the funniest fucking thing, and Roman fought his own laughter too. Felix was mad at Dec and me for making bad choices again.
Declan did, in fact, explain that it was a lot of fun while he was on the ride. Stepping off of it was when things went wrong, he said. I smiled and hugged him, happy that he was so willing to try new things with me.
The high of going to the fair for the first time dimmed when Roman pulled me away from the others with a gentle hand on my lower back. My belly was going wild with butterflies, but when he sat me next to him and gave me a serious look, my throat closed over with worry.
When he cautioned that I needed to be careful with what I asked of his little brother, I balked. His explanation of how Declan would doanythingif it made me smile calmed my defenses. Apparently, Dec had a hard time with motion sickness, so dragging him onto that ride wasn't okay.
I felt terrible, but I hadn't realized I was being too pushy. Roman had kissed my cheek and told me to use my convincing powers for good now. I had laughed and wiped a tear.
Heat warms my cheeks in response to the fond memories. I miss them. Declan and Jared would be right; my brain has been trying to convince me they're happy without me. How true is that, though?
Who will find Violet's Christmas gift I have hidden in an empty box of Ramen Noodles?It's the perfect hiding place. Violet would never touch those.
Ijuststarted my job as head of security. If I don't make it out of here and return to my position, who will advocate for security stationed at the bar? My girls need the help.
What about Violet? Have I taught her everything I know? I don't think so. Case in point: the person harassing her on social media.
What about the guys? All that effort they put in to win my attention and forgiveness...Is it just down the drain now? That would be months of time wasted on a woman who died just as bridges were close to being mended.
"You aren't dying, Blue fucking Bennett,"Felix's demand startles my sleepy brain."Have you checkedeverything?"
Son of a bitch. Of course, that overbearing ass would plant that thought in my head.Maybe I need to double-check some spots.
I'll rest for a few more minutes, then try again. If not for myself, then to prove to fake Felix that I've done all I can. Then maybe I can sleep peacefully.
Ten
FELIX
Running through everything I know about Blue is supposed to make me feel better. Anything could be happening to her.
She is wildly strong, mentally and emotionally. Physically, she has been trained to defend herself. Her beauty could charm anyone, and her bright blue hair would make it hard for anyone to hide her.
There are drawbacks to some of those things, though, and that's what I'm struggling with. Blue has been trained to fight back instead of running away.
