Page 20 of Petals of Blue: Part Two
Roman and I groan in unison while Felix preens like an idiot. "That's right, babe. You remember that," Felix replies sounding so proud of himself I might gag.
Ew, no not gag. Ugh...
Declan smiles at the back of Felix's head, but it fades when he looks at me again. The change in demeanor makes me anxious, like all I've been able to do is mess shit up.
"Jared, I'm sorry you're feeling alone. Or unsupported, or whatever it is that you're struggling with." Declan drags a hand through his dark hair and breaks eye contact. "I'm clearly not doing the best either. But you're right. We need to all be leaning on each other."
I'm nodding, so relieved he understands what's going on when I can't articulate it. Give me numbers with a ton of fractions and I'll be able to solve the problem. Words and feelings? I can't spell those out for shit. Which is probably why my only advice for Declan'scrush was to just encourage him to go for it and tell Felix the truth.
"Thanks, man," I rumble, feeling a tightness in my throat that makes me slightly uncomfortable. Being a teasing jackass is easier thanthis, so I slam my hand down on my friend's shoulder and laugh when he shoves me off.
"Just kiss already," Roman huffs from the front seat. Shocked at his ability to joke around, I snort and choke on my saliva.
"Absolutely the fuck not!" Felix is having none of it, but Declan glows under his boyfriend's growly possessiveness. "You want to kiss anyone besides me or Blue, D, then we need to talk first. You hear me?"
Declan chuckles and reaches forward to soothe his man. "Oh Felix," he hums.
"I said, do you hear me?"
Declan rolls his eyes. "Yes, I hear you. There's nobody else I'd like to kiss, though, okay? So maybe take a breath and get us to the first garden without breaking the steering wheel. Please?"
Fascinated, I watch as Felix huffs and grabs Declan's hand. I'm surprised by the gentle kiss he places on Declan's palm, then he nips a finger and demands that he keep his hands to himself.
It's my turn to roll my eyes. "Calm down, alphahole."
"Holy shit!" Declan gasps, whirling around to face me. "Have you been reading the books Nichole recommended, too?"
I feel my face heat with embarrassment but I don'tdeny it. Instead, I aim to get our focus back on track. "I'm Blue all the way. So let's find our woman, yeah?"
Declan narrows his gaze and points the finger that Felix just bit at me. "We're comparing notes later. You'd better be reading some good grovel ones with your study hat on. I have lots of plans for our Bennett girl when we get her back."
Whennotif. There's still hope.
Fifteen
BLUE
There are worse things than chopping my hair off and dyeing it an outrageous color. I just have to keep reminding myself of that.
With a shaky breath and an even shakier hand, I grab the scissors and hope I watched enough YouTube videos. Even if my hack job sucks, it's still better than the weight of everything I've been through. With each lock of hair that falls to the floor, a new layer of acceptance settles over me.
My purpose has changed. The trajectory of my life altered.
I always thought it was funny when people in movies and TV shows would get their hair done to symbolize the change in their lives, but I get it now.
I'm sick of looking in the mirror and being reminded of the life I've lived.
Roman loved running his fingers through my hair. Felix called it pretty. Declan teased me by playing with it. Jared would even style it into braids.
All my hair has done for me since Linda moved me awayfrom my friends is make me a target. Her sleazy men have used my pretty hair against me. One even yanked me away from the kitchen table by the sensitive strands and threw me to the ground, all because he wanted my chair.
I'm done with this version of me.
There's a young girl staring at me with wide red-rimmed eyes. I can't chicken out. She needs to know I can be strong for her. I will be.
Every single one of my desires will be shoved aside for the next eleven years—all for my cousin. I still can't believe I have a cousin. There's also the shock factor of having to unpack my tiny ass backpack and sell my ticket out of this shitty existence.
"Erica...?" Violet's small voice jolts me from my stare down with the box of hair dye.
