Page 36 of Petals of Blue: Part Two
Look.That's Roman, gently urging me to blink away my tears.
What I see once my vision comes into view confuses me. Lights are moving and swinging around. Worry courses through me.Am I about to pass out?
One of those moving lights sweeps toward me, stabbing me in the eyeballs and punching my concussed brain.Too bright!
Dizziness tilts the ground beneath me and flings me off balance. Immediately, as though he was waiting for me to fall, a heavy weight lands on me and flips me over onto my back.
A scream erupts from me, sounding shrill and feeling like tiny needles are shredding my throat. Just asfast as the scream begins, it's cut off by meaty, wet hands wrapping around my throat.
Clarence's face wavers in my vision as snowflakes land in my wide-open eyes. He looks as if he's pouting or disappointed in me, but how can that be right?
"Why did you run, kitty?" he coos as the crushing sensation of my neck heightens. My lungs stutter and throb as if they're collapsing without oxygen. I've never wanted to take a breath as much as I do right now.
Scrambling to get him off as panic sets in, I buck my hips and claw at his hands. My fingers slip, and I must have lost more nails than I thought because my attempts to peel the skin from his bones aren't working. I can't gain any purchase.
I'm going to die. That's all I can think as my ears begin to ring. Confusion and even more fear tunnel my vision as my eyes feel like they're about to burst.No, no, no! Are my eyes bleeding?!
Flashes brighten Clarence's red face and rotting teeth. Light flickers and wavers, scaring me.Am I dying?
I don't want to die.Don't go toward the light. Stop swimming!
"Oh goodness. Look at you turning blue." He cackles and squeezes harder.
I'm losing the battle to stay awake. To stay alive.
If there were ever a moment I wish my trauma had taught me to dissociate it's now. Instead, I feel the fight drain from my body, and my arms slap onto the spongy earth. Snow falls into my gaping mouth, tingling mytongue. I grasp onto that sensation and allow it to be the last thing I feel.
An alarm bangs as my eyes roll into the back of my head.Caution! Death approaching!The final thing that goes through my mind is the explosion of red flags around me. I'm gone before I heed the warning.
Twenty-Seven
DECLAN
Each day that passes I think is the worst day of my life. And still, every hour without Blue by our sides proves me wrong. I've swallowed vomit multiple times in just the past thirty minutes as my stress levels reach heights I have never experienced before.
I'm terrified of so many things, it's hard to keep my worries straight. There's a big reason I didn't fling myself out of the car as soon as we got here, and it's because I'm scared to lose another member of my family.
If I go rogue, I risk my friend, my brother, and my boyfriend. Then there's Levi and Kevin, whom I considered as I wrestled with my impulsive desire to rush out of the car. I'm beginning to consider them my friends, too. There's too much at stake to lose myself.
The rain has recently turned into heavy snowfall, for which I'm grateful. Our clothes are soaked through, and our shoes are their own lakes of water and mud.
Part of me really fucking hopes Blue isn't out here, because this is miserable and dangerous. There's nothing for miles. If anyone were to hear her scream, nobody is around to listen.
"Everyone okay?" Kevin asks over his shoulder. He's quieter now that the rain isn't drowning out all sounds.
There's an exchange of yeses while I bite the inside of my cheek and sweep my flashlight through the excessive growth of sunflowers. It's so fucking creepy how their heads are bowed as they tower over other dead plants.
This place is a goddamn hazard. Who manages this place? There were a few small sheds at the beginning of the first trail, but no big buildings for staff members.
I stumble when my shoulder clips Felix's. He's stopped and is looking at me with concern, which I really need him to stop doing. We're here for Blue. I'm fine.
"You okay?" he rumbles, warming my insides a little.
I huff and continue searching the area even while standing still. "Areyou? I'm freezing and scared shitless, Felix. No, I'm not okay, and I won't be until we're holding Blue under a hot shower."
He grabs hold of my dripping hand and gives it a squeeze, not transferring any heat to me.Why didn't we pack any gloves?We really should have prepared better. What if our hands go numb and we need them to help Blue?
I glance at Felix in an attempt to calm my racing heart. He's our rock, the person we turn to when we need guidance.
