Page 45 of Petals of Blue: Part Two
"Yes. I'm sure." I boop her nose, then let her boop mine. She smiles, and I know skipping my next two meals will be worth it.
Sucked away once again, I barely have a moment of relief from the struggles of selflessness until I'm shoved into a slightly older version of myself.
I'm hungry and a little weak. I've been working my assoff at the bar every night, but that doesn't mean I get to sleep in and rest. Violet has to get to school, and she's too young to walk there herself.
While I've found time to hone some kind of skill to pay for food and clothes for Violet, she's still the priority. Which means her priorities, like school, are at the top of my list.
At some point maybe I'll be a kick ass bartender and have a safe home for me and Violet to live in. But for right now, I'm still spilling most drinks I make and haven't perfected the art of sly flirting without being called a slut.
Minnesota hasn't been a favorite of mine these past three years, but I've heard Linda talking about Chicago. I'll follow, of course, because there's no way I'm letting teenage Violet live with Linda alone. As far as I'm concerned, she's mine.
"Will you come inside with me? I decorated my locker, and I want to show you," Violet explains while skipping beside me.
Shoving my exhaustion aside, I smile big at V and tell her how excited I am to see what she's done to it this time. I love how crafty and bubbly she's growing up to be.
We're stopped in the hallway by Violet's favorite teacher. I've heard a lot about the new art teacher, but this will be the first time I'm meeting her.
"Hello," the woman greets. "You must be Violet's mama. Erica, right?"
Hopefully not for long. I'm ready to never hear that name ever again. Wait!Mama?!
I know my eyes must be bulging out of my head when I look at Violet, who's blushing and tucking her blonde waves behind her ear. "Um," she hums. "I'm sorry."
"Violet?" Turning to her, I boop her nose to get her to look at me. She does with a small scowl and rubs the tickle away.
Sighing, she looks from her teacher to me. "Can I call you that? I've been doing it for a while now when I talk about you."
"I-you-what?" Damn it, what a tough first impression.
"I'll let you two chat. It was nice meeting you," the art teacher says with a soft smile on her face and walks away.
Violet sighs again. "I've been calling you mama. You're more like my mom than Linda is. Please? Can I?"
I'm speechless.
"If not, it's going to be weird when you come for parent-teacher conferences in a few weeks because all of my teachers know."
A shocked laugh slips from my parted lips. Dragging her in for a big ass bear hug is out of the question, so I wrap my arms around her and breathe in Violet's vanilla scent. "Ofcourse,you can call me that. I love being your mama."
"Love you..." She sniffs and pushes back a little. "Okay, you're smooshing my curls."
This time, instead of being pulled down by the thick current of this dreamscape, I'm lifted up. No longer do I feel like I'm dragging or floating; I feel like I'm flying.
Slowly, as if I needed the reminder of how I've come to be where I am, I hear their voices. I'm not the same girl they abandoned. I'm a woman who raised herself and another human being. A kick ass human being at that.
I think....I feel...like I might love myself just a little more after this nap.
Thirty-Three
DECLAN
Living in a constant state of anxiety cannot be good for my health. Unable to rush to the bathroom for a quick stress vomit, I swallow it down and follow the guys down the quiet hallway.
Maybe while I'm here, I'll ask for a professional opinion on this disgusting stress response. I'd rather Blue not know about it or experience it while she's with us. Because make no mistake, she's not leaving our sides for the foreseeable future, and I see pretty fucking far. Like grey hair and rocking chairs far.
"Remember, be quiet. Dr. Morel will give you the rundown of her injuries if she has agreed to it." Ellis' reminder is necessary because if I'm ready to bust the door to her room down, then there's no telling what Felix might do.
I'm stuck, wondering why we need to be quiet or at least why it's so important, then I see her. Once my brother's broad back moves out of the way, ourbeautiful Blue comes into view, and, my God, it takes every morsel of strength not to fall to my knees.
