Page 64 of Petals of Blue: Part Two
Spinning in a circle, I eye the couches and lounge areas in the lobby, but only see an older woman sitting with her laptop. I debate asking her if she's seen Blue, but decide to check the coffee shop first.
And there she is, my beautiful Blue Bennet, slumped over a hot coffee cup with her back to me. I breathe asigh of relief. She may have chosen a table in the farthest, darkest corner, but she didn't run far. Just enough to get some space.
Softly, so as not to startle her as I get closer, I whisper, "Good morning, Bee."
Still, Blue jumps and whirls around to look at me. I smile and kiss her cheek before settling into the chair opposite her.
She looks adorably ruffled and depressingly sad all at once. "Good morning," she mutters politely, then asks, "What are you doing here?"
"A blonde girl called Felix in a tizzy. Scared about where her mama ran off to or something." I wink, trying to lighten the mood. Maybe I should have texted Roman to come down here and help me with this conversation.
Blue sighs, deflating like I just dropped the entire world on her shoulders. "I'm so sorry she called you."
"Why?" I ask, bewildered.
She frowns at me. "Because I didn't mean to burden you with this. Had I known she was going to call you, I would have asked her not to. I just needed some space."
Studying her, I take in the bags beneath her eyes, and the far away look in them. She looks exhausted and almost lost, which is something I have never seen before on her. Blue has always been confident and direct with her wants and needs. Even after the kidnapping, she has slowly been finding the badass woman I've come to love.
There's a softness, a vulnerability in her since thentoo. One I'm not sure how to read or even begin to understand.
The first step would be asking her questions and allowing her to speak. Two things we haven't been doing all week.
"What did Violet say to you, Blue?"
Assuming I'll need to pry it out of her, I open my mouth to I don't know, beg? But she surprises me when she immediately answers.
"She said she doesn't know me."
What?A slight flare of anger rises to the surface, making me blurt, "That's not fair. I don't even know how that came up, but even I know that isn't fair."
Blue looks at me with narrowed eyes, but I really can't tell what she's thinking. It stresses me out so much I keep talking.
"You've done everything for her. Beeneverythingfor her. I can't begin to imagine how hard it was for you to survive with Linda on your own, but raising a kid, too? No way. To be honest, I've been madly impressed with you."
"Impressed?" she asks, head tilting to the side. I wish I could read her mind right about now because I can't tell if she's testing me or just really listening.
I nod and lean back in my chair. "Yeah, Bee. Erica made a lot of sacrifices, and Blue? She created opportunity. I know you think they're different and that one died a long time ago. But I don't think that's the truth."
"What do you mean?" Tears well up in her eyes, but this time I don't panic. Has she never thought about this before?
"Bee, you are Erica and you are Blue. You're a mom and you're the head of security at the hottest club in Chicago. You can be sad and cry while also clenching your fists and demanding the respect you deserve. You've sacrificed so much of yourselfandyou created an opportunity to build the version of you that you love."
She just stares at me, blinking her wide blue eyes, like she can't believe I just said all of that. Me neither, but it's the truth. Probably the easiest truth I've ever acknowledged.
"You areallof your experiences. Good and bad. There was a lot of bad, but shit Blue, what you've done with all of that is absolutely amazing. So yeah." I smile and grab her cold hand. "I'mimpressed."
"Jared..." she whispers, openly crying now.
I have more to add, so I cut her off because I'm on a roll now, and I think I'm actually helping without making a joke. "And Violet...what she said wasn't fair.Butwhen you're young, you miss some stuff. Some things don't quite register. Priorities are a bit different."
I'm also making another case for myself and the other guys. We were young and dumb once, and we lost the best thing that ever happened to us.
"It takes a lot of emotional growth to see every part of someone. Violet's growing, and this is a big lesson for her," I say gently, not wanting Blue to feel like I'm judging her daughter's poor choice of words this morning. "And maybe for you?" I ask, wondering if I was right about the fact that she hasn't given this much thought.
Slowly, Blue nods and grabs my hands in a firm hold. "Jared…nobody..." Her voice cracks, and she sniffles. "Nobody has even seen me. Likeseenme. But you? I think you do."
"Of course, I see you," I declare and scoot my chair around until I'm next to her. "You're still the girl with petals in her hair. Still the girl who bought me a candy bar in junior year with the last of her cash from mowing a neighbor's lawn. All because my fish died and I missed an answer on my math test."
