Page 68 of Petals of Blue: Part Two
"Can you say fuckingplease?" Her tone is tight, and I might be imagining the shine in her eyes, but it still gives me pause. "You're so rude sometimes, Felix. Don't you think I've had a hard enough day? I was going to tell you what was going on after my snack. I'm hungry."
A tear slips down her pale cheek, and Declan kicks me in the shin.Fuck, I'm such an asshole.
Instead of sitting beside my boyfriend, I drop to my knees and shift around until I'm sitting on the floor. Maybe being on her level will help us connect better. I can't stand over her, dictate to her, or control her. That would be wrong. It has been wrong.
"I'm sorry, sweetheart," I say, attempting to embodya calm persona for her. "I'm struggling to—" Hesitating to share my feelings, I glance at Roman, who nods and gives me a small smile. "I'm having a tough time managing my emotions. There was a lot of scary shit going on, and not having you close after what happened has been really hard. I'll work on my attitude, I swear it's coming from a place of care and concern."
Blue watches me for a moment as she continues to eat her grapes. I'm glad I didn't ruin her appetite. She lost out on days’ worth of food. If Roman could have a snack in her hand at all times, he would. It's been my best friend's mission to feed her.
"Thank you," Blue acknowledges what I said, then swallows. "Violet needs some sleep. I've been keeping her awake at night with my nightmares."
"How so?" Declan asks, leaning forward. "Do you go get her or something?"
"Um." Blue fidgets and pulls her knees up to her chest. Jared runs his fingers over her scalp, careful not to pull on her messy bun on top of her head. "No. I've been waking up screaming multiple times a night."
My heart stutters and breaks. I should have demanded she come live with us. I fucking knew she needed more support, someone to protect her.Why did I let her decide?!
"Felix," Blue calls gently as if I'm a child about to have a big cry.Maybe I am. "Thank you for respecting my wishes. I needed to try on my own."
I know she's trying to make me feel better, and her words do just a little. I still feel like I failed her, but I push my feelings aside because this is about Blue rightnow. The others and I will talk about our decision-making skills later.
"Now what do you need, sweetheart?" It's easier being soft for her when I'm given something to work with. The more she communicates, the better I feel. She's just such a closed book with us these days, and it puts me on edge.
Blue rubs her hands on her legs, and leans her head on Jared's thigh. We've had a long day, and since we got her in our car after dinner, she's been getting drowsier. Maybe an early bedtime for her tonight is needed, especially since she hasn't been sleeping.
"This is hard for me to ask for, so please don't make fun of me," she begins explaining while staring down at her lap.
"We would never make fun of you," Declan promises. She looks up at that and gives him a look of disbelief. "Well, not about anything serious. I know how to read a room, Blue. No jokes right now, I promise."
She sighs and gives him a grateful smile. "I want to be held at night. Every time I wake up, I feel so alone and cold. I'm...I'm afraid every night that I'll wake up and be back in that shed."
"Never again," I state, my throat tight with the same fear she has. "We haven't been sleeping well without you under our roof either, sweetheart. Who would you like to hold you tonight?"
Giving her more of my emotional side and honesty is progressively getting easier the longer she's near me. Blue deserves to know my mind and my heart. I know they will be safe with her.
"Jared. Please." She yawns and snuggles into his leg.
I stand up, offering her my hand. My envy holds no space when my woman needs something or someone, even if it isn't me. "Why don't you go take a shower and get ready for bed? Jared will be up soon."
Thankfully, she only nods and doesn't fight me on my bossiness. Unable to help myself, I tilt her head back and give her a soft kiss. It's barely more than a graze of our lips, but it sets my skin ablaze.
"Thank you, sweetheart. Proud of you for telling us what you need."
She blushes and pulls away, murmuring, "Good night."
Every night will be a good one from here on out with her under our roof.
Forty-Seven
BLUE
Waking up with warm air tickling the back of my neck and teeth tugging on my earlobe is a new experience for me. I've always woken up alone. Never warm, tingly, and rested.
I hum, wiggling back into the solid body behind me. Jared's dark gray sheets enter my vision, but soon my eyes close as pleasure ripples through my veins.
Lips trace the line of my neck, and I'm incapable of staying still any longer. Turning around, I suck in a shaky breath as I come face to face with Jared.
So handsome.
