Page 13 of Stained Hearts
“We’re going to discuss this, you know. But I’ll answer you first. They’re still trying to get Galen to talk, but unless it’s through a lawyer, he says he has nothing to say. They’re up to thirty-five women who say Galen’s father sexually harassed them, and a few who said they had sex with him in exchange for a job he never provided.”
“What a fucking scumbag.”
Robert stretched out, his long legs taking up most of the small area. “Okay, enough. Let’s talk about the elephant in the room. What did you do that’s got you so worked up?” He and Galen ran a homeless shelter downtown. In his job, Robert’s been medic, cook, dishwasher, and, unfortunately, therapist.
“I… forgot.”
“Forgot?”
I pursed my lips and waited for him to understand. When he opened his mouth in an O, then schooled his features, I knew he had.
“And you think that’s a bad thing?”
I raised my eyebrows. “Isn’t it?”
“No.” He came over and stood next to me, his hand on my arm. “You’re allowed to have other thoughts. No one grieves the same, Tom. What works for someone else wouldn’t be right for you. Time heals all wounds, they say. There’s nothing wrong with it, and you know as well as I do that Brian would agree.”
“Everyone seems to know what Brian wants.” Was I bitter about that? Maybe a little. It wasn’t like he hadn’t told me constantly how he wanted me to move on, but he’d told everyone else too. I knew it was selfish, but… I wanted to keep that for me.
“You think he didn’t tell us? That man insisted we watch out for you, and he gave me a death glare if I dared to question him.” Robert slid his hand down and gripped my wrist. “He loved you so much, he wanted what’s best for you, even if he couldn’t be the one to give it.”
The tears started again. Fuck, it had been a year, and I was still a mess. Robert pulled me to him, and like a child, I clung to him.
“I’m lost. I can hardly function. I don’t sleep, barely eat. I can’t even look at our bed because he’s not there. I keep expecting to find him in the kitchen when I go to get coffee. I was at his funeral. His urn is on the fireplace. And yet I still refuse to believe he’s dead.”
“Have you thought about talking to someone?”
I nodded. “I’ve been seeing her for a while. She keeps saying I need to take my time to process the grief but that I can’t shut down either.”
He pulled back and smiled at me. “She sounds like a smart woman.” He stood up again. “Let me ask you something. Do you talk to him?”
“Do I what?”
“Have you tried talking to him?”
Other than to curse him for dying on me? “Not really.”
“Why not try that?” He grabbed my arm and pulled me up. “Do you have anything you didn’t say?”
So many things. “Yeah.”
“Then tell him.”
“Why? It’s not like he’ll hear me.”
Robert shrugged one shoulder. “You said you’re spiritual. What happens when a person dies?”
“I have no idea.”
“Then how do you know he can’t hear you?” He went to the door, then turned around. “I still talk to Bree.”
There was a strain to his voice. Bree had been one of his favorite people at the shelter, and when she died of an overdose, Robert probably would have sunk into a funk if Galen hadn’t been there for him.
“And?”
“I don’t do it when anyone else is around, but I have to admit, it does make me feel better. Will Brian hear you? Maybe. Maybe not. But you know him better than anyone alive. Do you think you don’t know what he’d say to you?”
Mom called up the stairs. “My food’s getting cold, and I see two empty seats at my table. Galen helped me make chili, so get down here and try it!”
