Page 136 of Wishing for La Luna

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Writhing en tu cama

Después de gritar mi nombre en tu sueño

Porque tu corazon, and your pussy, extrañan su dueño

Tu sabes que lo soy, Mami

Tu boca puede decir mil cosas

Pero debería ensañarle a tus ojos y a tu cuerpo a mentir

Still waters run…you know

Ni tengo que decirte mi nombre

Tu mente te lo grita a todas horas.

I read my words and blink.Shit. I read it again, and the music plays in my head, a soft intro that grows larger, soft, sexy, andbrutal. And for some reason I can’t explain, I page through my journal, reviewing the entries as I do before meeting with Dr. Jacinda.

And I see it, ourstory. I’ve been bleeding on this page since the night at the Coliseum. It’s all here, in my language, the cadence in the words and music playing in my head. It’s an album with an intro and definitely an outro.

No, not an album. I couldn’t sell this, because I wouldn’t want anyone else to touch it. Just me. Only me and a producer. And not just anyone. Someone I trust to do this justice.

I grab my phone and text Niko.

Me

Remember those tracks we worked on way back? I want to do a mixtape.

Niko

Sick. When? Who’s the producer?

Me

Tonight. And you.

Niko

Bruh. What?

Me

You in?

Niko

Fuck yeah. Vamo a romper.

Twenty minutes later, Tito and I arrive at Niko’s place. My friend takes one look at me and shakes his head.

“After the RainPart II?” he asks, referring to my first mixtape. The first one we worked on when we were coming up. It was in the bedroom of his parents’ apartment.

But I shake my head, because this is not that. “I’m about to open a vein to let the poison out.”

My meaning dawns in my friend’s eyes.

“Fuck, are you sure?” Niko says.