Page 27 of Say Now
"Like killing his peers?"Claire asked.
"He wants to absolve himself.So, he looks to others who made a mistake, and he believes that if he can make an example out of them, then he can make amends.With his downward spiral, I don't think he intends to go back to work.He protects himself from making another mistake by not putting himself in a position to do it again.And he stops others from making another mistake.He sheds light on the justice system in the hope he can stop further mistakes."
"You’re a part of that," Claire pointed out."What’s your professional opinion?Should there be more investigations when things like this happen?"
"I honestly don't know," Alison admitted."It’s a hard position, because the majority of decisions—ninety-nine percent of them—end well.And we can't count how many people are saved by our decisions because it’s expected, and there are no numbers to count.When things go bad, that’s when incidents are counted.I would bet that all three victims made decisions that saved far more people than were hurt.Maybe I should dig deeper into their careers, but I’m positive they have benefitted society on average, and it’s not even close.I’ve made mistakes—I’ve made decisions that were good decisions but led to bad outcomes—and I’m still trying to come to terms with that.We work in thankless jobs.I know your job is hard, but we can track your arrests, and we can see when the good far outweighs the bad.We can't do that with my job.I only have to hope I’m doing the best I can."
"It doesn’t hurt that you’ve caught multiple serial killers," Claire pointed out.
"It’s what keeps me going," Alison admitted."That’s why I’m still here.We will get this guy."
"What if Dr.Laurent has gone off-grid and we don't find him?"
"There’s a chance of that," Alison admitted."There’s also a chance that he might be exactly where I expect him to be."
"And where’s that?"Claire asked.
"Let’s start driving back toward his house before the snow gets too heavy.We need to check all the bars in the vicinity of his home.Let’s hope he’s unable to get up from his barstool rather than planning on who to kill next.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Claire drove them through the snow.The wipers moved quickly back and forth across the windscreen, moving the snow to the edges of the window where it accumulated.The roads had started to get slushy as the snow melted with the vehicles driving on the roads, but as more and more snow fell, a layer built up.
They saw one snowplow and a sander on the way to the bar closest to Dr.Laurent’s home.When they were almost there, the road had become little more than a set of tracks in either direction where the cars compacted the snow, and then each subsequent car drove in the same divots.It became that they were almost guided along the roads by the dual ruts.
"We don't have a place to stay," Claire said."Whether we find him or not, we get a place next and regroup.We’re definitely not going home tonight, but it’s becoming more dangerous on all roads."
"Agreed," Alison said.
They pulled up outside the neighborhood bar.When everything in a city shut down, the bars were always the last.Even in the harshest snowstorm, people were still willing to brave the weather for a bit of warmth and a beer.
Claire turned off the car, and it immediately got colder.They waited a moment, then braved the falling snow, pulling up hoods and tightening collars.They walked quickly across the sidewalk and into the bar.
As soon as they were in, everyone looked at them.
There were not many people, perhaps eight or nine.And the looks from everyone were the same: You must be as desperate as we are to be out in this.
There were only two people who didn't look at them with that look: the barman, who looked like he wanted to be somewhere else but had to serve the customers, and the man slumped over the table at the back of the bar, holding on tight to a short glass with liquor in it.
"I don't think we need to ask where he is," Alison said."I’m pretty sure that’s him."
"What can I get you ladies?"the barman asked as they walked through the bar.
"How about two shots of bourbon?"Alison ordered.It would help to stave off the cold, and it was the least they could do if they were going to sit and try to talk with the good doctor.
Steven didn't look up when they got to his table.
Alison and Claire sat down, and he barely noticed they were there.
"Dr.Laurent?"Claire asked.
He came out of his stupor.He was very drunk, but as soon as he sat up, he looked more aware of his surroundings.A man as drunk as Steven might have hit on two ladies who had just sat down opposite him, but he was in no mood for that.It wasn’t hard to see the deep sadness within him.In his current state, there was no way he could be their killer.The only question was whether he ever sobered up long enough to be a threat to society.
"Dr.Laurent, I’m Special Agent Martinez.We came up here from Missoula to speak with you."
The barman brought over the two bourbons and set them down.
Alison smiled and then inquired whether they had any hot coffee, suggesting some for the doctor.At the same time, she removed the glass from Steven’s hand and passed it to the barman.He didn't look happy to take it, but the drink had been ordered and would already be on the tab.
