Page 17 of Wife After Wife
How she got through the rest of the day, she’d never know. It was an out-of-body experience, smiling alongside Harry, playing at happy families. The only outward sign of the turmoil in her head was her shaking hands. As she buttoned up Maria’s jacket, Harry noticed them, and his eyes briefly flew to hers and she saw the guilt.
But then he carried on laughing and joking with the press team, posing like a catalog model. No one could have guessed he was waiting for the storm to break.
Harry hadn’t looked her in the eye since, and now the photographer was packing up and the press officer was saying her goodbyes.
Katie wondered how the rest of her life would be. It was about to start right now.
The three of them were alone, and Harry set off wordlessly toward the exit, pushing Maria.
Katie walked alongside. Who would speak first?
Soon they were out of the gate and on the Outer Circle, Harry scanning the road for a taxi. There were none in sight.
He flicked the brakes on the buggy and finally turned toward her. “Katie—”
“I want the truth,” she interrupted. “None of your usual bullshit.”
Harry looked taken aback, and Katie felt a pang of regret. She rarely used even slightly offensive language. Already, she was changed.
“How long has it been going on? Are you still seeing her?” She was surprised at the strength in her voice. As she said the words, she realized that, deep in her heart, she’d suspected something for a while now. The absences, the working late. Harry’s distracted air, the distance between them.
She’d suspectedsomething, but not a child.
“Since the Christmas after we lost Summer.”
Nearly four years?Katie pulled her jacket tighter around her. Her hands were still shaking.
“I’m so sorry, Katie. It was... things weren’t great between us, if you remember, and Bennie was so... uncomplicated and easy to be with. She made everything less painful—”
“Like I did when your parents died.”
“Yes, sort of. And I’ll never forget how you made me feel better.” He raised his hand slightly, as if to touch her, then dropped it again.
“Go on.”
“She didn’t want anything from me, just my company. And we had fun, while you and I... we seemed to have lost that. It was wrong, I know, but I just needed somewhere to go, someone to talk to.” His eyes pleaded with her to understand.
Anger was rising up Katie’s gullet, like monstrous, seething black bile. She swallowed it back down. She’d wait until she was home before she let it all out.
“You haven’t answered the other question. Do you still see her?”
“Sometimes. Not often, though.”
“Often enough for that child to know you’re its father. Were you together when we were expecting Maria? When she was born?” Katie’s breathing was shallow and fast. “Has it been going on all through that time? Because, Harry, you say you needed someone who was easy to be with. And I thought we were happy then. I thought everything was good between us.”
“It was. When Maria was born I was going to end it, but then... I couldn’t abandon Bennie when she was pregnant. You can understand that?”
Katie said nothing. The days after Maria’s birth had been some of the happiest of her life. Now those memories were tarnished by betrayal. Forever. Harry had ruined everything.
“I don’t know what to believe. Probably nothing you say, ever again.”
“Look...” Harry paused to wave down a taxi. “We can’t do this now. Let’s talk properly when we get home.”
The taxi set off toward Fulham, Maria now asleep. Katie stared out of one window and Harry out of the other. Keeping the anger at bay was allowing the heartbreak in. Tears ran down Katie’s face, and she didn’t bother to brush them away.
The next two hours were taken up with the routines of feeding, bathing, and putting to bed. Katie was on autopilot, blocking painful thoughts as she went about the familiar tasks, taking a small degree of comfort in them.
Finally she joined Harry in the living room, where he was watching the evening news. He sat up straighter and looked up as she came in. “Katie—”
