Page 31 of If the Suit Fits
“She’s not exactly your biggest fan,” he sniggers, “and she’s always been jealous of you. Ever since middle school, she copied your hair and clothes and anything else she could. It’s a compliment, honey. She only ever wanted tobeyou. And you only ever wanted to be a successful architect. I messed up with us.” He tilts his head to catch her gaze when she looks the other way. “I know how wrong I was. I was weak and stupid, and she was willing, so I made an awful choice that I’ve been paying for every day since.”
“Drew…”
“I still love you, Melly. And it kills me to see you with that… that…” He grits his jaw in frustration. “That trailer trash. If I could go back two years and do things differently, I would. And if I could turn back time and make you feel as loved as I know you desire, there’s nothing I wouldn’t trade for that chance.”
“You still love me?” She licks her lips and searches his eyes. “Really?”
“I never stopped.”
“You swear?” Her voice grates and crackles—kind of like my heart. “You’re telling the truth?”
“I would never lie to you.” He leans closer, closer. And for every inch he steals, the tighter I’m forced to lock myself down so I don’t go over there and cave in the side of his skull. She’s not mine. She was never mine, and if he’s offering what she wants, even though I know it’s a lie… “I would never betray you again, Melly. I was different back then. Young and stupid. But if you gave me another chance, I know I could make you believe.”
“Believe?” She hiccups. “In you?”
His lips curl into a sly grin. “In me.”
“Kinda like how everyone in there believes I was the cheat?” With a cry of rage and ashoop-shoop-de-doop, she swings her knee up and cracks the dumb sonofabitch square between the legs. Like a felled log, he topples right and drops to the floor with a heavy thud. “Kind of like how everyone believes I stole our wedding gifts?” She stands over him, street fighting serious, and snarls. “Kind of like how everyone believes you’re doing me a favor by inviting me here today?” She scoffs. “You asshole!”
She spins on her heels, leaving the groom curled in a ball and holding his nut sack, and shoving through the doorway, she leaves the scene of a crime and heads out to commit another.
“Oh, shit.” I spin from the wall and burst into the ballroom once more. But if she’s looking for me, she’s doing it in the wrong direction as she stomps toward the stage where the band play andshoop-shoopsacross to snatch up a microphone. “Excuse me, hi.” She turns back to her crowd. “I have some things to say.”
FOURTEEN
MELANIE
Be brave, little bird.
Be bold.
I stare out at the three-hundred-something wedding guests who mingle and chatter, laugh and talk shit, but when I smack the microphone to my palm so thethudechoes throughout the ballroom, I’m greeted with countless watchful gazes and only a handful of them turn pale.
The rest, of course, want to be entertained.
“Most of you know me,” I start, my voice shaky and my vision blurring from tears.God, I hate that I cry when I’m mad.“Those who don’t, I’m certain, knowofme. I was Drew’s fiancée once upon a time.”
I scan the crowd and stop on a wide-eyed Karla, huddled within her little posse of gossiping bitches. “The stories you’ve heard paint me as a pretty horrible person. Drew and Karla are extremely kind, generous, thoughtful people, and I’m honestly,truly honored they included me in their celebrations today. Drew’s parents, Mr. and Mrs. Taggart, are selfless for allowing me to come and even providing a plate for me and my date.” I search the crowd again until I find Nick. His dark-as-night eyes and a heavy brow casting shadows over them.
So strong. So sure of who he is.
“To my parents.” I gesture toward them, swallowing the choking nerves building in my throat. “Such amazing, kind-hearted, noble people who did their best to raise an undeserving daughter. And to Karla’s bridesmaids for folding me into their group today,knowingI’d hurt their friends in the past. Oh, and Mr. Manson, my boss.” I find him, too, and lock eyes with him. “For allowing me to reach my professional dreams, even when my behavior in the past probably didn’t deserve it. Or, well…” Finally, I shrug. “That’s what I’m supposed to say, right?”
Collectively, the crowd gasps.
“In reality, Karla, you back-stabbing, wannabe, two-faced slut. You fucked a practically married man, and you’re so horribly insecure about it that you’d rather make me feel like shit than own up to how shitty you are in your soul. Your bridesmaids,” I check them off, meeting their eyes before I move to the next, “I’d like to think you’re simply loyal to your friend and unwelcoming of the enemy they made me out to be, but weallknow that bitch got caught with her legs wide open.You were there. My parents?” I look at them, “The only thing you gave me was crippling doubt and a nasty inner-voice that isconstantlymean to me. Fuck you very much. Mr. and Mrs. Taggart?” I search for them in the crowd. “Where’d you go?”
“Hey now,” Mr. Taggart admonishes, “that’s enough of that.”
“Yeah, nah. You and your son pocketed the wedding gifts, not me. And then you lied about it, so you didn’t have to give them back. Shame on you.” I shake my head and smile. “How embarrassing. Mr. Manson?” I find him next. “Shame on you for believing the lies slung around freely instead of simply asking me. Or, ya know, trusting me to be a good person when I’ve literally never given you a reason to think otherwise. And Drew?” I look toward the door I came through. “Drewwwww, where’d you run to,honey? Oh, that’s right.” I met Karla’s horrified eyes. “He’s out there where I left him. He hit on me, by the way, and threw you under the proverbial bus. But your marriage will be wonderful! Your personalities match in every way.”
I spin on my heels and offer the microphone back to the stunned drummer, but remembering one last point, I turn back again and lock eyes with Nick. “My date isnottrailer trash. He’s kind and sweet and theactualdefinition of selfless. His heart is purer than any I’ve ever known, and when he says something, for thefirsttime in my life, I know I can trust his words as truth. Which is ironic, really. Considering Ipaidhim to be my date.” I go back to scanning the crowd, those vile, gossiping, wannabe snobs. “I was so fucking scared to face you all tonight, terrified of walking into a room knowing you would talk about me. I couldn’t decline my invitation, because then I would be a coward, but I couldn’t come alone either, because then I’d look like a loner and a loser. So I paid someone. Which,” I scoff, “I have to admit, kind ofprovesI’m a loner and a loser. But you know what I did find throughout this shit show? My power.”
I look at Nick again as fresh tears spill from my eyes and dribble over my cheeks. “I found my self-worth. I found the security and warmth and confidence of knowing I’mallowedtotake up space in a room. These things are a child’s right, a bottom-of-the-barrel, bare-minimum effort owed by parents simply because I existed. But it tookhim,” I point his way and hiccup, “it tookyou, to convince me I was worthy.” I swallow the lump of nerves clogging my throat, but it doesn’t stop my anger from transforming into complete emotional devastation. “I’m worthy of taking up space, and I shouldn’t be learning this at twenty-nine years old from a man paid to be here. But that’s the way these things go, I suppose.”
Heart aching, I drop my eyes and chew on my bottom lip.
But I bring the microphone to my mouth one last time. “Nicolas Ramos taught me to love myself again. It’s a rocky relationship, one I know I’ll mess up time and time again. But I’m worth it, I think. I’m worth working on. So I’m gonna do that for the next little while. But none of you will see that version of me.” I bring my eyes up and stop on my parents. “Don’t call me. Don’t visit. If you see me in the street, pretend I don’t exist, because if I see you…” I sniffle and wipe my nose, “I won’t acknowledge you. Not for the rest of my life. But hey,” I glance to my left and scoff when Drew limps into the ballroom. “You can have him. He’s the son you always wanted, right?”
