Page 22 of Enemies Off Camera
“I say…” Jaxon jumps in before I can get a word out. I had a whole answer rehearsed for that one, too. “I went with my heart and my gut. Choosing Zara wasn’t easy. I never wanted to hurt anyone. But if I hadn’t been interested in her, she never would’ve made it to the final pinning.”
I exhale—just slightly—relieved he’s doing what he promised: having my back.
“Well, that’s surprising to me,” Ashley cuts in, her Disney-princess voice sharp and rising. “Because Zara never said she had any interest in him. At all.”
“Actually, she said the opposite,” Heather chimes in from the front row of contestants.
“Same,” adds Marie, raising a finger like she’s in class.
“I don’t know how she went from constantly calling him a ‘dingbat with abs’ to saying yes to the final pen,” Sara says.
I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. And worse—Jaxon has removed his arm from the back of the couch. The signal is clear. He’s not protecting me anymore.
“I don’t remember calling him a dingbat,” I say, weakly. Which is a lie, because now that they’ve said it, Idoremember. I did call him that. Because, well… he kind of is.
“And she didn’t even want to be there,” another girl piles on.
“Now she’s lying,” Ashley says, taking over like she’s the spokesperson for Team Morality. “She used to say all the time that he was all abs and no brain. And hey—if that was her opinion, fine. But I’m thinking about him and who’s right for him, and honestly? It’s not her.”
I glance at Jaxon. He leans away from me. His jaw is tight, clenched.Really?He’s shocked I didn’t like him? He didn’t like me either. And now he’s backpedaling.Asshole.
“I don’t know, I—” I start, stalling. I let the silence stretch, let the suspense build just long enough for the camera to catch it. “I agree with all of you,” I say, finally. “Jaxon and I had a slow start. We did. Sure, we had great dates, great debates, and great conversations whenever we stole time together, as you all saw… But I honestly don’t remember referring to him as a dingbat. He’s a very successful quarterback?—”
“Wide receiver,” Jaxon corrects in a low, gritted voice.
“Right!” I say brightly, slapping my forehead. “Wide receiver. But I was going to say… I made personal relationships with all of you, and I would’ve been happy for any one of you if Jaxon had chosen you.”
I place my hand gently on his knee, a small gesture of claim. He doesn’t put his hand over mine.
“But he chose me. And I chose him. We’re falling in love more and more every day, learning from each other, loving each other. He’scertainlynot a dingbat. And my heart…” I summon tears to the edges of my eyes, and they come on cue. “My heart is open—still and forever—to every single one of you. Because I could’ve walked away from this with nothing but the friendships I made in the house, and still felt like I won.”
I’m shivering a little, because—if I’m being honest—Imeantthe last part. Or I used to. Now? After they just tried to throw me under the bus like that?
Bitches.
But at least the audience is eating it up. They’re applauding. Some are even dabbing at their eyes. My performance has landed.
Only when I turn my teary gaze to Jaxon do I see what’s behindhiseyes—and I swear, I’ve scared the hell out of him.
He’s looking at me like I’m a stranger. Like I’m a liar. Like I’m some kind of beautiful, soulless machine.
And maybe I am. I hate this feeling. I want to tell him this was survival. That I had to fight, claw, andperformto protect us both.
But the truth is, he faltered. He pulled back. I had to carry us.
And Iwilllet him know it.
FIFTEEN
All the girls must’ve gotten their warning to halt assassinating my character. The fake smiles plastered across their faces say it all. Suddenly, everyone wishes us the best. Says they’re happy for our “happily ever after.”
Not one of them says they want to be my friend.Whatever.
Thankfully, Jaxon and I are the final scene of the show. To bring the season to its glittery end, balloons, confetti, and—ugh, what is this sticky crap?—glitter rain down from the ceiling.
“Kiss him!” Betty yells in my ear, still producing my every last moment. I can’t wait to never hear her voice again.
Jaxon must’ve gotten the same direction because he wraps an arm around my waist. But instead of kissing me, he leans in, lips brushing my ear.
