Page 59 of Enemies Off Camera
As I press the elevator button that’ll take me upstairs, I mentally run through the list of other things I’ve shoplifted. Lipsticks. The scarf I’m wearing. Socks. Bookbags. Pencils. Pens.
Tears fill my eyes.
All the things Stacy bought for her biological children—nice, new. And what did I get? Their hand-me-downs. Their leftovers.
I clutch the left side of my chest as the ache of that memory pierces me.
“Hurry, hurry, hurry,” I whisper.
Please don’t let Jaxon be home yet. I can’t run into him right now.
The elevator doors slide open, and I can barely stay on my feet. I want to collapse. I want to scream so loud the whole world hears me.
I drag myself down the way-too-long hallway. No sound of Jaxon. No trace of his delicious cologne. I keep going until I make it to my bedroom, close the door behind me, strip off everything I’m wearing, and climb into bed.
Now that I’m tucked between crisp sheets and beneath the heavy comforter, I weep.
I see her in my mind. A woman I only remember through photographs—hugging me, kissing my forehead, whispering:
“That’s okay, my little pumpkin patch. You’ll be fine.”
A soft rattleon the door wakes me.
“Zara?” Jaxon calls gently.
I waver between staying quiet and answering.
“Yeah?” I say, putting on my best voice.
“You okay?” he asks.
“I’m fine.”
He goes quiet. I don’t think he believes me.
“It’s nothing. I’m just tired. Long day. I need sleep.”
“Okay... well... um... rest well,” he says finally.
“You too,” is all I can come up with.
But after Jaxon leaves, I can’t rest well. I can’t get back to sleep.
What a revelation I had today.
The list of items I’ve stolen... they were things I wanted so badly when I was a kid.
I need help.
But no one can help me. Not with this. I can’t go back and make my dad and stepmother see me. I can’t make my half-siblings care that I wasn’t treated equally.
Why does Trey think he has the right to message me, as if I should care?
Never.
I’ll never lay eyes on my father again.
And after making that vow, I roll onto my side, close my eyes, and finally...
