Page 38 of The Tracker's Revenge
Eric’s pen stopped on the paper, but he didn’t look up.
At least I had his attention. I went on. “I don’t know why I thought I needed to go. It was stupid. At first, I thought it would be okay. They seemed interested while I told them about the hybrids. Of course, it didn’t help that I started giving alpha vibes, and I couldn’t control them.”
Eric still didn’t say anything, but I didn’t care. I was past groveling and had moved on to feeling sorry for myself.
I turned away from him and walked to one of the bookshelves, pretending to read the titles on the spines. Instead, I was remembering Olivia’s face and that irritating smirk of distaste.
“I met Travis’s kids,” I said, the words coming out choppy. I didn’t really want to talk about this with Eric, but I knew Rosalina couldn’t quite understand, and Jake... well, he wasn’t packless like Eric. “I wish someone had told me they were going to be there.”
“I had no idea,” he said. “You know I haven’t cared about the goings-on of the St. Louis elite packs for a long while. You might’ve guessed yourself, though. The facility does belong to Travis, after all. I just figured you were some sort of glutton for punishment.”
I faced him, my narrowed eyes homing in on him. “It seems that way. I’m here, ain’t I?”
He chuckled, then sobered after a beat. “Perhaps, I didn’t insist more on you not going there because I wanted you to see firsthand how it is with the packs. They’re not gonna make way for you, Toni. Not going to welcome you with open arms. You’re either pack or a rival.”
A thick silence hung between us. I hated to admit he was right. The packs weren’t all about pink clouds and unicorns. They seemed to be more about blond bitches and badassery.
“It gets easier. With time,” he said helpfully.
Was I destined to be a lone wolf? If Jake and I never managed to be together, what would happen? I couldn’t see myself loving anyone else, raising a family with someone other than him. And though I had Mom, my sisters, my brother, and Rosalina, there was still that niggling wish to belong, a void I knew nothing else could fill.
I fought the hopelessness that descended over me. There was no way of knowing what the future would hold, and Jake and I weren’t giving up. If I had him, I wouldn’t need anyone else. He and I would be our own pack, and when children came, then our pack would grow in the only way that mattered.
So I didn’t argue with Eric. I didn’t tell him again that I wanted to belong, even though I did. Desperately.
Instead, I appealed to Red’s pride.
They don’t want you, Red, but that doesn’t matter. You don’t needthem. You are better than them. We’ll find our own way. We’ll make our own pack.
I felt her absorbing this, becoming determined to show them up sooner or later, and it seemed to be enough. Finally, with her understanding, I was able to nod to Eric.
“I will be here tomorrow at 4 AM. I’m ready to learn.”
“No. Not here. At Damien’s place.”
What?I opened my mouth to ask why there, but he’d already gone back to writing, dismissing me.
This should be interesting, and I was more than ready.
