Page 19 of Blood of the Fallen
In unison, the three wolves stood and bowed their heads as if in greeting. Without a thought between our minds, Kall turned and trotted away. Novuk flicked his head as an invitation to follow. I moved forward, doing my best to keep my mind clear and to recognize and examine without judgment that part of me that wasn’t entirely human.
Doing my best not to panic, I relinquished control to this newly awakened creature that had lived trapped and shackled by the Academy’s magic.
I was afraid to encounter resentment, but instead, I found something entirely different. This new entity that, at first glance, felt somewhat separate wasn’t someone else. It was me. Me!
Sadness washed over me. My vision blurred with tears. I had been imprisoned for so long, and I hadn’t even known it.
Ahead of me, Kall stopped and glanced back. He blinked, an unspoken invitation to join his side. I did, and so did Maki and Novuk. Tallgrass surrounded us, with a small path cutting across it and leading away toward what sounded like a gurgling creek or river.
Kall nodded toward the path of trampled tallgrass, likely carved by animal traffic. It was only wide enough for one of us. Understanding his meaning, I hesitated. The wolf waited patiently, not pressuring me but looking quite at peace instead. It was up to me, I understood. I could walk down the path and see for myself, or I could turn around and leave, except why postpone the inevitable?
Hadn’t I been denied enough? Hadn’t I been controlled by fear the Academy had bred in me like a disease? I couldn’t let them control me anymore. I would only be free if I allowed every piece of who I was to be whole, if I accepted with open arms what they’d wanted me to reject and hate.
Taking a deep breath, I walked down the path, the feel of the trampled tallgrass strange between my new toes. I lifted a paw, watched it carefully as it settled down on the ground atop the dry grass. It was like touching it with my hands, though maybe not as sensitively.
As I walked, sunlight warmed my fur, feeling amazing. In fact, everything felt amazing, more vivid, more… real. By degrees, the tallgrass at either side of me tapered down to nothing and gave way to smooth rocks.
A placid river flowed before me, the sun hitting its surface and turning it into a beautiful display of twinkling light. My nose twitched with the fresh scent of it, which I recognized. The difference was that, before, I had barely scratched the surface, sensing only a fraction of all that the scent carried. Under that whiff of clean water, I now smelled melted snow, young pine, churned silt, fish, and so much more.
The water came from the mountains, and on its way, picked up the scents of everything it passed on its way here. It was… beautiful. I had no other word to describe it.
I was still sniffing, my nose high in the air when Kall, Maki, and Novuk approached the shore and began drinking from the stream. They acted as if I wasn’t there, giving me the time and space I needed.
Slowly, I inched closer to the water until my paws were touching its fringes. Through the pads under each toe, I felt the change in temperature, the reminder that, up in the mountain tops, the peaks never lost their snowy caps.
For a long moment, I stared at the trees across the expanse of the river, afraid to gaze into the water. At last, I prevailed over my fear of what I would see, of my reaction to the new features, and lowered my head to look at my reflection.
Whatever emotions I’d expected to feel at the sight of my new face, they were far from the sense of awe and recognition I actually experienced. Looking into my own eyes, even though the shape was different, felt exactly like looking at the person I’d always been. The elongated snout, the pointed ears, the tawny fur covering every inch of skin didn’t scare me or repulse me in the least.
No.
On the contrary, the image I saw did something different, something amazing. It made me feel complete for the first time in my life. Where I’d thought I was whole—not knowing what I was missing—now I realized I had been next to nothing.
This… this was who I was supposed to be. This was all of me.
How do I change back?I asked Kall, Maki, and Novuk as we reached the edge of the new camp—Tanisi, as they called it—and they swiftly shifted into their human forms.
They had explained that I had been unconscious for a couple of days. They said the tea had its intended effect, and my coda faded to only a slight trace. They told me that the first shifting had been extremely painful and had taken hours to complete. They also told me that Ila and the Chieftess had been by my side as much as possible while we traveled to the new camp. The pack had only arrived and started settling in when the shift finished, I abruptly woke up and took off running.
The triad had followed me to make sure I didn’t hurt myself. They said I ran for over two hours at top speed before finally slowing down.
Funny thing was, I didn’t feel tired—not in the least.
The guys stared back with matching frowns.
“Um… you just do,” Maki said.
That doesn’t help.
Novuk scratched his head, shifted into wolf form in the blink of an eye, then back again. “Think of your human form,” he said, sounding unsure.
I thought of my human shape, arms, legs, upright spine. Nothing happened. I shook my head and looked questioningly at Kall.
“How to explain what comes as naturally as breathing?”
Am I stuck?An edge of panic entered my voice. I didn’t want to be a broken shifter.
“Of course not.” Maki snorted.
