Page 33 of Demon Hunger
“She’s back home in St. Louis, yes. Though before she left, she assured me you would be fine. She spent several sleepless nights with you. She’s a remarkable healer, and I’m so grateful to her. I should call her. Let her know you’re fine. She charged me with that.”
He released my hand and walked toward the door, eyes focused on his shoes. I watched him go, a niggling sensation twisting inside my chest. I knew it was harsh not to say anything when someone confessed so much. I knew I should…
“Drevan.” His name escaped me as he pulled the door open, ready to leave. “Please, don’t leave.”
He stared at me, eyes open wide, and released the door. He walked back, and I sat on the bed, resting my back against the headboard. The motion made my head woozy, but it cleared when I inhaled deeply and reined in my focus. Drevan sat at the edge of the bed, one knee bent over the mattress as he angled his body toward mine.
“I don’t want to leave,” he said. “Ever.”
“I… I find it hard to believe that a being such as you is… in love with me.”
“A being such as me? And what do you believe I am, my dear Lucia? Maybe a creature incapable of love? I can assure you that I—”
“Perhaps not incapable of love,” I interrupted, “but you’ve lived for so long and I’m just a blip in the scheme of things. You must have seen so much. How could someone like me ever crack through millennia of jaded existence?”
He didn’t try to deny he was jaded. Instead, he pondered my question for a moment. At last, he answered, “That is, perhaps, just the reason. I have lived for a long time andjadedhas been my general disposition most of the time. It’s easy to grow thus when surrounded by hate and hypocrisy. It takes no effort to fall prey to the wrong feelings. Life becomes tedium. Time… a blur. So much is forgotten, especially the good moments, which are far and few between. It’s not hard to come to the realization that there’s no hope. But it’s a miracle to open one’s eyes to a new morning.”
Drevan reached for my hand and cradled it between his.
“You are my miracle, Lucia,” he continued. “For very long, I’ve believed that love wasn’t for me. I once thought I was in love, but those feelings were lackluster, quickly erased by hardship and familiarity. Not so with you. It is quite the opposite. The more time I spend with you, the more I…” He sucked in a breath through his teeth, lower lip trembling. “I love you, Lucia. Have no doubt about it. I would do anything for you.”
He lowered his head and bit his lower lip. After a moment, he made eye contact again.
“Do you believe me?” he asked.
“Maybe. I don’t know.”
“You have every right to be angry with me. You have every right to distrust me after what you saw. But despite everything, I’m not a monster. I once asked you to judge me for my actions. I ask you to do that again. I know it’s not easy to look past what the curse made of me, but for the sake of my poor soul, I’m begging you to try. Please, give me another chance. Please, Lucia. If you only knew—”
Tears lining my eyes, I leaned forward and threw my arms around his neck. “Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.”
He was frozen for a moment, then his hands traveled to my back and gathered me against his strong chest.
“I’m so confused,” I sobbed, my tears soaking his shirt.
He relaxed in my arms as if letting go of a huge weight and finally finding a home in my embrace. “It’s okay. We can figure it out together.”
“I don’t want to deceive you. I can’t deny that I’m spellbound by you. From the first day I met you, the attraction has been strong, but I don’t know if I could ever trust you enough to love you back. You shouldn’t pin your hopes on that.”
“For the sake of telling each other the truth, you should know that every single one of my hopes is pinned on you.”
I pulled away and met his gaze. “That’s just stupid and reckless and irresponsible.”
He gave me a crooked smile. “You know me so well.”
I sputtered a laugh because what else could I do?
Those beautiful eyes glanced down at my mouth. His lips parted as he leaned closer. “May I kiss you?”
A thrill tingled its way down my spine, making my body’s response to his question obvious. That had never been the issue. I wanted him desperately. The impediments were in my heart and in my mind. My body had no objections.
But there was so much more to love than unrestrained passion. Even if my desire had no qualms about the unnatural implications of being with a monster, my mind felt much different about it. There were barriers, reasons for me to stay away from him. There was fear and shame, and maybe that was shallow. I didn’t know. Maybe I should be able to see past the demon to focus on the soul.
Regardless of whether or not it was shallow, I knew one thing: It was perfectly human.
So I shook my head and pulled away from him.
“Sorry, Mr. Morningstar, I don’t kiss people I just met,” I said, letting him down easy. I needed time.
