Page 58 of A Court So Dark
Well, it seemed that answered my question. He didn’t care.
And what a lucky girl I was to have two adoring males ready to satisfy my every need and mix things up to keep it interesting.
I succumbed to his kisses and caresses and the tender and attentive way of his love making. While Wölfe possessed me, Kalyll worshiped me, every inch of my body an altar for his devotion and undivided attention.
Kalyll held the transfer token in the palm of his hand and regarded it with sadness.
“I almost killed Cardian,” I blurted out, for the first time experiencing the guilt I should’ve been feeling all along. “But I think he’s fine.”
I didn’t want to kill his brother. I had siblings, and I couldn’t imagine a situation where Kalyll killing one of them would ever be all right, even if they became as evil as Cardian. I could only be glad Runik had attacked just in time to prevent me from draining Cardian completely.
Kalyll’s azure eyes met mine as shame burned on my face.
“Do not feel bad, Daniella,” he said, reading my emotions without fault. “I know of your realm’s commandment ofan eye for an eye, and I would not fault you for applying it. His pet thunderlord nearly killed you on Cardian’s orders.”
I shook my head. “It’s not like that. He—”
“… was trying to kill you.” He finished for me. “That would also justify your actions. In fact, I wouldn’t blame anyone for outright killing him based on the fear of who he might become, and what he’d be willing to do to get there. Cardian was always… different, troubled somehow. He is twelve years younger than me and was always treated differently. Mother and Father placed no expectations on him. None. Up until recently, I thought they’d only managed to turn him into a careless, spoiled brat. But now I know the damage runs much deeper.”
He paused to consider as if he were trying to puzzle something out. I could almost hear him thinking and had to fight the urge to smooth the crease between his eyebrows with my finger.
“Cardian grew up to resent us, to hate us even. In sparing him the rigors of a strict upbringing, they failed to teach him an appreciation for his privileged situation, and he now operates under the misconception that he’s entitled to more, despite the fact that he already has more than he deserves.”
And wasn’t that the mistake of all parents who wished to spare their children every difficulty and who gave exaggerated praise for the slightest accomplishment? They thought they were doing their kids a favor when they were only setting them up for mediocrity.
I lay my hand on his. “He’s still your brother, and I know his death would bring you no satisfaction.”
“I’m not so sure.”
“You can’t mean that.”
“A lifetime of imprisonment might be worse.”
“Perhaps there’s another option.”
He searched my face, seeming at a loss.
“Exile?” I asked. “Is that possible?”
“It might be too dangerous to allow him to go free. But we may be wasting our time with this conversation. He is the king now. The rightful one. Perhaps it is I who should be exiled.”
There was a strange longing in his expression, as if the idea of being exempt from the duties he was raised to shoulder was highly tempting. But I knew the temptation of a much simpler life would never be enough to pull him away from his responsibilities. He was not a quitter.
“Perhaps,” I said, “but Elf-hame needs you, and I know you won’t abandon it.”
He sighed. “I often feel that I’ve… ruined your life.”
“What? Are you serious?”
“I am. Before I so rudely intruded, you had a calm, safe existence. But ever since, you’ve been tied up, terrorized by a decayana, turned into something you’re not.” He waved a hand in front of me to demonstrate my Fae features. “You’ve been nearly killed. Twice. I have brought you nothing but distress.”
“That is not true.”
He frowned.
“If I’m being honest, my life was pretty boring before coming here. I mean… I loved my job. I found satisfaction in giving sick children a second chance, but now that I have you, I understand that something crucial was missing. You’ve given me the most important thing of all. Love. I love you, and I would give everything up to be with you.”
His expression fell, which was the exact opposite of what I intended. “I don’t want you to give up anything for me. It’s wrong. It should be me. I should leave with you, go to your realm, start a new life. Just the two of us.”
