Page 108 of House of the Raven
“Yes, princess,” he responds, eyes reflecting what little light is left on the darkening horizon.
I don’t lose my composure until I hang the rapier in the armory. After that, I start down the hall, my strides picking up speed until I’m running.
I’m so confused. I’ve attended many balls where good-looking, eligible bachelors vied for my attention, and I’ve never felt even a fraction of what I felt on that roof.
When I reach my bedchamber, I slam the door shut. I feel as if something has been building inside me since the day I met Bastien, and I haven’t been aware of it. Or maybe I’ve subconsciously camouflaged my emotions as animosity. I’ve been too busy trying to hate him, but the truth is that I’m attracted to him.
“Oh, gods! Why now? As if I already don’t have enough trouble.”
“Troublemaker,” Cuervo croaks from the balcony.
I can barely see his silhouette against the darkening sky. Shoulders slumped, I walk out there.
Troublemaker. Father sometimes said that was my middle name. He said it enough times that Cuervo learned the word.
“Maybe Father was right, Cuervo. Maybe I am a troublemaker. I think I’ve just made the situation entirely more complicated than it needs to be.”
Cuervo bobs his head up and down, as if agreeing with me.
“Saints and feathers! With a friend like you who needs enemies?”
I leave him behind and take a hot, hot bath, submerging my head and shutting my eyes to the world.
Scrubbing with vigor, I try to wash away the lingering feeling of Bastien’s body on top of mine, but I only manage to send an electrifying jolt down to my core, one that even makes my nipples pebble into points.
Gods!What is this feeling?
Nana tried to explain, but either her words were lacking the right descriptive quality or my imagination had no way of conjuring the precise notion. Either way, if this is the way attraction between a man and a woman is supposed to feel, I’m doomed.
I get out of the bathroom, wrapped in a towel. Involuntarily, my feet take me to the door, where I press a palm flat on the wood and listen.
Somehow I know Bastien is standing out there. The ludicrous idea of walking out wearing only this towel, hair dripping wet, assaults me.
“A woman must remain chaste for her husband,” Nana’s voice echoes inside my head.
During those lessons, Amira and I always scoffed and argued that if the same requirement isn’t set on men, women shouldn’t have to adhere to it. Nana is a liberal woman, and we know she agreed with us, even if she never said so. She always kept her lessons proper as she was supposed to do, but we know better.
Amira isn’t chaste by any stretch of the imagination. She’s had several trysts with men she’s felt attracted to.
“If you find someone who makes you feel star bursts right here,” Amira pointed at her chest after telling me about one of her escapades, “you go for it, little sister. You don’t listen to that nonsense about chastity.”
I agreed with her at that moment. The problem… I’d never felt anything remotely like a star burst. Not until today, and I’m afraid. This feels too immense to control, too deep not to fall and get lost forever.
Turning, I press my back to the door and slide to the floor.
“I have no time for star bursts,” I mumble. “Now I need an eclipse.”
32
VALERIA
“I despise my hideous visage, but not as much as I despise that half blood child.”
Orys Kelakian - Fae Sorcerer - 14 AV
The next two mornings, I wake up tired. Lately, I’ve been spending half the night thinking of Bastien outside my door, and the other half lost in dreams that seem to be getting increasingly disruptive and more vivid.
I’ve also been eating breakfast with Don Justo, as our engagement ball is organized. Every meeting with him is just as unpleasant as the first one. However, since I’m a quick learner, I haven’t allowed him to come too close and assail me with unwanted advances. The only allowance I’ve made is to let him caress my hand and squeeze my fingers between his clammy ones. The reason: to gauge Bastien’s reaction. The result: his corpse-like expression doesn’t twitch even a bit, yet he’s unable to control the telltale flush that climbs to his cheeks, a clear sign that Guardia Bastien Mora is very much alive.
