Page 69 of House of the Raven
“What? You thought we wouldn’t notice? With your fine leggings and tunic, hair as shiny as a show horse.” There is so much contempt in her voice that she sounds exactly like that man. He talked to me with repulsion because he thought I was poor. Esmeralda is addressing me the same way because of the exact opposite.
Is this how everyone in Castella feels about people like me?
I grew up with the knowledge that Father was a good king, who did right by his people. I knew the fae hated him, but I imagined everyone else loved him. And now, for the first time, I contemplate the possibility that this isn’t the case.
“I’m sorry,” I say. “I’m no one and have no right to judge you or anybody else.”
I turn away from her, conflicting emotions wreaking havoc inside my chest and head. There is so much happening so fast that I find myself doubting everything I know. I thought my little excursions into Castellina had made me savvy and expanded my horizons, but now I realize Father thoroughly succeeded in sheltering me from the real world.
“I’m sorry, too,” Esmeralda says. “I said those things in the heat of the moment. You seem nice enough, and you’re down on your luck, worseoff than we are, I wager. The troop is family, and we stick together, but you’re all alone.”
Her words hit me like fists pounding against my chest, and sudden tears start running down my face in a deluge.
“Hey, hey.” She comes closer, and the next thing I know I’m in her arms, sobbing like I haven’t sobbed in a long time—perhaps even since the day Mother died. The feeling of oppressive loneliness that pushes against me in this moment is not unlike what I felt when I lost her. Perhaps, I’m just starting to truly mourn Father.
Esmeralda doesn’t say anything. She only holds me tight and rocks slightly from side to side until my tears dry out, and I push away, embarrassed.
“I’m sorry. I don’t normally cry like that.” I hate crying in front of people. I hate showing any sort of vulnerability.
“I don’t know what trials you’ve been through, niña, but they’ve left their mark for sure,” Esmeralda says, holding me at arm’s length.
I pull away and turn my back on her. Swatting at my face, I wipe away the tears.The last few days have been too much, I tell myself.Of course, you lost control. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about. And yet… I hate myself for letting my emotions get the best of me.
Luckily, Esmeralda seems to understand, and she changes the subject. “We can’t go back to the troop. We’ll stay here until nightfall, then meet them at the edge of town.”
I clear my throat. “What you did won’t get them in trouble?”
“Nah, they’ll be fine. The guards might go looking for us, but they won’t find us, will they?”
“But won’t they figure out we came to town with the troop?”
She shakes her head. “They can’t prove it. We’re wanderers. We come and go in troops or alone. They would have to arrest every single one of us. They’d love to do that, don’t get me wrong, but it wouldn’t be practical.”
“I suppose you’re right.”
“Of course, I am.”
Sighing, I ease myself onto a patch of grass and cross my legs. Nightfall is in six hours, so I may as well get comfortable.
20
VALERIA
“Princess Valeria made these earrings using bits of raven feathers. Aren’t they special?”
Agata Cañero - Nido’s Lady’s Maid - 18 AV
Later that night, we are on the road again. Gaspar said the guards came looking for us and were extremely frustrated not to find us. He also said they ordered the troop to pack up and go, and that the guards didn’t leave until their wagons were rolling away. Despite everything turning out all right, Gaspar seemed worried.
As Esmeralda and I ride in the back of one of the wagons, facing the retreating road once more, I notice that she appears ill at ease too.
“What’s the matter?” I ask. “Shouldn’t you be glad that you got away with… Um, I mean that there was no real trouble for you and the troop?”
She shrugs one shoulder. “Maybe, but they’ve never forced us to leave before.”
My first instinct is to ask her why she’s surprised it happened. If robbing people is part of their repertoire everywhere they go, it’s only logical that the authorities would wise up to the behavior. It is their job to keep their citizens safe, after all. Logically, this is what my mind dictatesshould happen. Yet, I say nothing, and instead attempt to look at things from Esmeralda’s perspective.
I think of everyone setting up for a day of peddling their goods, items, or services they sell for a pittance because no one will pay them what is fair. I think of the long hours they spend traveling, sleeping under the open sky, and eating simple, too-small meals that leave their stomachs rumbling shortly after. So, isn’t it our collective fault that they have to take what should be fairly given to them for their efforts?
