Page 32 of Cinnamon Strudel
“I guess.” Then her tone became darker, the sadness in it clenching at his heart. “When I broke up with him, we hadn’t had sex in a while. It wasn’t even twenty-four hours later that he asked if we could still do it.”
“Prick.”
Ruby sighed, kneading her thumbs into his palm. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I’m thankful you feel safe enough around me to talk openly.”
“With him I always had to think about… well, whathewould want from me. But when you said you’d take care of me, it took all of that away. I just needed a moment to internalise it.”
“It will take time, but I’m a very patient man.”
“You are and once I wrapped my head around that, I stopped worrying.”
“You’re only feeding my ego,” he teased.
“I didn’t think that was a bad thing.”
“It was rather soul soothing.” Since Ruby was being honest, he decided to do the same. “It took me a while to figure myself out too. My first experiences with women weren’t the best. I was never the confident one out of the three of us, but my brothers’ popularity made it to where I wasn’t an outcast. Even though they still won’t admit it I’m pretty sure they are the reason I lost my virginity not long after they did. We were at a friend’s house party when a girl pulled me aside.”
He shrugged and enjoyed her massaging his hand. It seemed to soothe her, and it definitely made his insides all mushy as well.
“It took me a while to see that I just wasn’t comfortable because I didn’t know my surroundings. It’s much easier to feel confident if you don’t bump into things.”
“I can see how that might ruin the mood. So if you ever come to my place, you won’t be tossing me around like you did earlier?”
“Not right away, no.”
“What a shame.”
“You liked that, huh?”
“Quite a bit actually.” Then she giggled. “And now my cheeks are as red as a tomato.”
“Oh, the things I would love to do with you.”
“Ropes?”
“Yes, I would like it very much if you tried that.”
“Why do you enjoy it so much?”
He smiled, delighted that Ruby didn’t dismiss it right away. “The idea of you submitting and trusting me to look out for you. With you in particular, it’s the switch from you no longer having to take care of me. In the bedroom, I get to make sureyourneeds are met.”
“Like today when we went on the ice.”
“Exactly.”
“Was it hard for you to trust me today?”
“Yes and no. Yes, because I hate giving up even a little bit of control or independence and at the same time, it was easy because well, you’ve made it that way from day one.”
“Giving up control,” Ruby muttered, seemingly to herself. “I guess that felt good. I didn’t have to think for you or worry whether or not what I’m doing is good enough for you.” A pause built as she continued to knead his palms. “Can we try it now?”
He shifted, taking her jaw in his free hand and leaning in enough for her features to become clear. Once he was satisfied that she was ready, he kissed her forehead and rose from the bed, opening the drawer that hid his supplies. He withdrew a thin rope, then rejoined her on the bed. He felt it tug in his hands as she reached for it.
“It’s much smoother than I thought.”
“That’s so it won’t irritate your skin. Would you like to start with just your wrists? We don’t have to do anything more than that.”
