Page 94 of No Apologies
Skylar sighed, knowing there was no use denying it if that were the case. She was going to tell him anyway. She’d just wanted more time to come up with an argument that might dampen some of his anger. Her time was up so she simply steeled herself for the fight she knew was coming.
“I went to the bank to transfer some money and sign some paperwork.” She ignored the way his jaw twitched, “I bought Lincoln out so he can’t hold Fine Lines over your head anymore.”
Colt slammed his fist into the coffee table before shooting to his feet, “Goddamnit Skylar! You had no right to do something like that!”
She frowned, “I had to do something.”
“Bullshit. You didn’t have to do anything. I never asked you to get involved. I told you the other night that I had it under control.”
Anger sparked inside of her as he yelled, “Under control? Under control? Colt, you were beaten into unconsciousness. You did not have it under control!”
“I didn’t want you fuckin’ involved! You knew that. You knew I wanted to protect you from this shit.”
“So you’re allowed to protect the people you love but I’m not?”
“What?” Colt growled, his eyes narrowing as though it were a trick question.
“You’re allowed to protect me but I’m not allowed to protect you.”
“Damn it Sky, that’s not the issue.”
“Isn’t it though?” She softened her voice, “Nobody’s ever protected you before so you don’t expect it but that’s how relationships work when two people love each other. They take care of each other. It goes both ways.”
Colt froze and she moved towards him slowly. She wanted to rush into his arms. She wanted to wrap him in a hug and squeeze him until he put his arms around her and stopped fighting her. But she was still too worried about his injuries and too wary of his mood to make any sudden movements.
“Your parents should have protected you but they didn’t. Decker’s been trying to kill you since before you were even born. I’ve seen the scars, Colt. I know they’re burn marks. I know he physically and psychologically abused you for years.” She took another step closer, “He should have loved you and protected you but he tried to break you instead.”
Colt’s face had gone pale at the mention of his father. She didn’t know if it was from the pain of standing up and moving around with his injuries or if it was from something else. The awful memories she was bringing up maybe. The admission that she knew some of the terrible things he didn’t even admit to himself.
His back was one of the few places on his upper body that wasn’t covered in tattoos. She’d noticed, of course she’d noticed, but when she’d asked him about it once he’d deflected. He’d told her that he was just waiting for the right image and he hadn’t found it yet. Maybe that was true, but she’d known there was more to it and after Jemma had told her about the burn marks on Cash’s body, she’d put together what the dozens of scars were that puckered Colt’s back.
Someone had used him as an ashtray. Sick. Twisted. But true. And she’d known without a doubt that it was Decker. That son of a bitch enjoyed inflicting pain on the twins simply because he didn’t believe they were his. And if Cash had a handful of scars, it was only logical that Colt would have dozens because he’d stepped in to take twice the punishments to cover for his twin.
She knew that Colt had a tough time dealing with the abuse he’d suffered at the hands of his parents. He didn’t talk about it. He didn’t even acknowledge it. But it had happened and she had a feeling the cigarette burn marks on his back were the least of the true damage.
Psychologically, he was far more scarred than he was physically. He didn’t trust. He didn’t love. He survived. It was the only thing he knew how to do.
And she hadn’t even mentioned his mother. Hadn’t mentioned that Chrissy should have protected him from Decker but hadn’t. She’d been too stoned to care about any of her sons. Only, if that were true, maybe it wouldn’t have hurt Colt and Cash so badly.
Chrissy had cared about Remy just like Decker had. Their one true son. She’d always wondered if that was Colt’s real problem with his older brother. Not that he’d left them behind to the abuse and neglect but that even when he’d been there, he’d never been a target.
“He didn’t break me.” Colt growled at her and she shook her head.
“Of course not, because you’re strong, so strong, but you never should have had to fight like that, not against your father.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“It does. You became a protector when you were just a kid because there was nobody there to take care of you but that’s not true anymore. You have people that love you and care about you. I love you and I want to take care of you.”
“No.”
He looked so damn wary that it broke her heart. He was shaking slightly though whether that was from pain or anger, she didn’t know. He was still fighting her but his voice was barely a whisper.
She reached up and framed his face between her hands, “You can get mad at me. You can be angry all you want. You can yell at me and you can even walk away but I’m not going to let you go and I will never, ever, stand by and do nothing when I can help you. I love you and that gives me the right to protect you whenever and however I can.”
Colt stared down at her for a long moment and she thought, for just a second she thought that she’d gotten through to him. His eyes searched her face but she wasn’t sure what he was looking for this time. She stroked her hands over his cheeks, trying to offer him reassurance, but just as quickly as he’d started to lean into her he jerked away.
He turned and walked over to the window and she bit her lip, unsure if she should follow. His shoulders were heaving as if he were sucking in deep gulps of air, trying to steady himself. If she touched him now, would he recoil or would he finally give in to her?
