Page 22 of No Fear
She was lost and she had no idea what her next move should be.
All she knew was that she wanted to stay with Remy, but even that was a big ball of confusion for her. Did she want to stay with him because he was safe or did she want to stay with him because she wanted him? Maybe it was a little of both. Couldn’t it be both? She didn’t know. She’d never wanted a man before, never not been terrified of having one near one, never looked at one and not imagined the horrible ways he could hurt her. Not until she’d met Remington Bomar.
He made her want things she’d never thought she would want from a man. He made her feel things she’d never thought she could feel with a man. He made her feel safe. That was something no man had ever been able to give her and now that she’d found it, she couldn’t imagine giving it up, givinghimup.
A board creaked behind her just as she was rolling the last of the eggs, chopped peppers and cheese into a tortilla. Her hands froze and her entire body tensed on instinct. She had excellent hearing, another of her survival skills, another way to keep tabs on Craig so he couldn’t sneak up on her. She had to physically force her shoulders down but when she turned and caught sight of Remy, the smile came easily and naturally.
He looked absolutely adorable. That should have been impossible on a six foot plus man with muscles designed to inflict pain but it wasn’t. Her grin widened as she watched him scratch his head, confusion on his handsome face as he took in what she was doing. He looked sleep rumpled and warm and more than anything, she wanted to cross the room and give him a hug, maybe go up on her tiptoes for a good morning kiss.
As had become a dangerous and frustrating habit, her gaze snagged on his mouth and she couldn’t tear it away until she saw it quirk up at the edges to reveal those Bomar dimples that made her insides do funny things. He’d caught her staring at his mouth. Again. It wasn’t the first time and she was certain it wouldn’t be the last. She only wondered how long he would let her get away with it before he did something about her interested looks.
“Hey.”
“Hey.” She echoed quietly and then cleared her throat and forced her eyes back to his, “Good morning.”
“Mm, yeah, no. That’s an oxymoron.” He yawned and stretched, the t-shirt he’d donned before coming into the living room riding up high and revealing the dark line of hair that disappeared into his sweatpants. “No such thing as a good morning.”
She smiled at his grumpiness, “Not a morning person?”
“Nope.” He moved a few steps closer, “That surprise you?”
“A little.” She bit her lip when he rounded the counter that had been between them, “I uh… I mean, you were in the army right?”
He made a disgruntled sound that could have meant anything, “Yeah.”
“Never got used to the mornings?”
Remy scratched his head again, “Nah. Nearly eight years and I never became one of those guys that could roll out of my bunk before the bell.”
She did the math in her head and tried not to let her surprise show. Out of all the conversations she’d overheard between Skylar and Colt and Skylar and Jemma, she’d never realized that Remy had been out of the army for two years before he came home. She’d assumed he came home as soon as he got out. He was so dedicated to protecting his brothers, she’d figured he came back to see them as soon as he could. But he’d been gone for ten years, not eight.
“Y-you were in the army for eight years?”
His dark eyes narrowed slightly as he leaned a hip against the counter and crossed his arms over his chest, “That’s not what you wanted to ask. You want to know where I was the other two years, right? Before I came back? It’s okay. You can ask, Rach.”
How did he do that? How did he always read her so easily? Know what she was thinking? Thatwaswhat she’d wanted to ask. She’d wanted to ask where he’d been for the past two years. She wanted to know why he hadn’t come home as soon as he got out of the army. She wanted to know everything about him.
“I can?”
“You can ask me anything.” A small smile lightened his face and he reached for her slowly, so slowly that she knew he was trying not to scare her, but when his big, warm, rough hand slid against hers she still shivered and his smile fell, “Is this okay?”
She nodded.
Remy’s fingers laced together with hers and her heart skittered wildly in her chest. It was nothing, just a touch of their hands, but she felt lightheaded. Her palms were sweaty and she knew he must feel it but he didn’t pull away. He tugged gently and she moved closer like she knew he wanted her to. Their legs brushed as he positioned her where he wanted her, just in front of them, so close that if she leaned up or if he leaned down, they could be kissing.
“Rach?”
“Hmm?”
“Gotta stop lookin’ at me like that babe.” Those lips tweaked into a smirk, “I’m tryin’ to have a conversation with you but I’m only a man and you’re tempting me to forget my manners and take the kiss you’re all but beggin’ for, baby.”
Her gaze jumped to his, shocked by his easy admission that he wanted to kiss her and that he knew she wanted his kiss. He’d never said anything like that to her before. No matter how many times he caught her staring at his mouth, he ignored it. Their mutual attraction was obvious but neither of them had broached the giant elephant in the room. Remy smiled softly, knowingly, and she bit her lips nervously. She’d known last night would change things between them.
“I… but… you…”
Remy sighed when she stumbled over her words, “I left Old Settlers when I was eighteen. I had to get away before this place destroyed me. It was selfish and I knew it then and eight years later when I got out of the Army I thought coming back would be even more selfish so I stayed away.”
Since she’d been expecting him to say something about his desire to kiss her, it took her a second to process what he was telling her. She relaxed as the moment passed. He wasn’t going to push her about her attraction to him, at least not at this very moment, so she forced herself to focus on what he was telling her instead.
