Page 108 of A Long Way Back
“Tell us where your brother is,” the DI said.
“I don’t know. Wes is lying if he says I was with him.” He glanced across to his father whose hands were clenched into tight fists.
“You need to come to the station and answer some questions. I’ll wait downstairs.”
“Get dressed,” his father snapped.
He pulled on his clothes with trembling fingers.
“If you’ve…” His father choked up. “I can’t bear to look at you.”
Killian felt his heart shrivelling.
“I don’t want you to ever forget that this is down to you. Your little brother has probably been raped, tortured and he’s lying in some place where he might never be found. I don’t believe you told him to wait. I think you told him to go while you messed around in the shower. Now he’s gone forever.”
Killian felt as if he’d been caught up in a bomb blast, the cruelty of those words rocking the ground beneath his feet.
You wish it was me.
You think it’s my fault.
I’m dead to you.
You don’t even want the son who’s left.
As he made his way downstairs, following his father, the DI was at the door on his phone. When he turned to face them, Killian knew the news was bad.
“I’m sorry,” the DI said. “The body of a young boy has been found. The identity hasn’t been confirmed, but we have good reason to believe it’s Ru. Killian Byrne, I’m arresting you for the murder of Ruari Byrne. You do not have to say anything, but it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court. Anything you do say may be given in evidence.”
Killian’s world shattered into a million pieces.
Present day
INK GASPED. HE STRUGGLED TO his feet, headed for the bathroom as fast as he could, and threw up all the water he’d just drunk.Oh God.This was why he didn’t let himself think about the past, why he had to keep looking forward. He flushed the toilet, splashed cold water on his face and turned to see Tay staring at him.What is he feeling? Disgust? Pity? Confusion? Disappointment?Ink couldn’t see through the veil of tears. For once, he was glad he was crying.
Tay held out his hand. “Come and tell me the rest.”
Ink didn’t take his hand. He didn’t deserve to. Maybe he’d never feel that he could let Tay touch him again. Christ, what an irony that would be. Back on the couch, he kept a distance between them. Worse was to come.
“I was taken to the police station in complete shock. Bad enough that all hope of Ru being alive had gone, but for me to be accused of killing him? It was… incomprehensible. I shut down. They got me a lawyer, but speech was beyond me. I was sick. I could barely walk or talk. I couldn’t understand what was happening, why they’d think I’d hurt my brother. What reason could I have? I loved him.
“I lay shaking in a cell in the police station, a combination of grief, fear and illness. I… I wet myself. My father came and agreed to everything the police asked for. They took my fingerprints, samples of my hair, my saliva, scraped under my fingernails, took pictures of me naked while he watched. He never spoke to me. Not one word. The pain of what was happening brought me to my knees. He didn’t like me, he never had, I’d always been too weak and sensitive for him, but to think I could kill Ru?
“A doctor examined me and it turned out I had glandular fever, not that anyone cared, though the doctor was kind enough. The police had decided I was bad and if they pretended to be kind, it was only to get what they wanted—a confession. Once I could speak, I kept telling them they’d made a mistake, that I had nothing to do with Ru’s death. But Wes had told them otherwise. He said he’d seen me and Ru going towards the old mill near the school. Mick and Baz backed him up.
“That’s where Ru was found. In the ruins of the mill. He’d been killed by a single blow to the head, but then battered and…and pushed into a space in the ground so he was hidden. They showed me the photos.” Ink whimpered. “He was so… His…” Ink’s breathing sped up and it was a moment before he could continue.
“I closed my eyes and I threw up. I didn’t want it to be him. I denied it was him. When my lawyer found out what the police had done, she was furious. My father identified him. He was in his school uniform, his name tags in his clothes. He had Bela’s favourite red bead in his pocket. My mother… My father told me I’d denied her the chance to say goodbye to her baby boy. That I was wicked, evil, a piece of shit, and he wished I’d never been born.”
Oh God.It hurt so much to remember.
“I don’t know what to say,” Tay whispered. “That must have been a terrible time. Do you think Wes did it? Him and his pals?”
“Mick and Baz had alibis, but Wes didn’t, and in his attempt to blame me, he said a lot of stuff and the police decided we’d done it together.”
“When did they think you’d had the chance to kill your brother?”
“Their theory was that Ru had followed me and Wes after school and seen us…messing around. The mill was behind the school. Fenced off, but there was always a way through. Kids went there to smoke or drink or have sex. Not me.” He released a shaky sigh. “Wes apparently said Ru had seen me giving Wes a blowjob. He claimed I’d hit Ru when he threatened to tell on me. Lashed out with a piece of wood and run. Wes came after me, pulled me down, told me Ru was dead, that he knew I hadn’t meant to hurt him, but I had. That we had to come back later and make it look like someone had gone crazy, then they wouldn’t think we’d had anything to do with it. Boys wouldn’t do that. So that night, we’d met up and…” Ink shuddered.
