Page 53 of A Long Way Back
No, don’t.
Yes, do.
Fuck.
“Now who’s afraid of being touched?” Tay’s mouth tightened into a hard line.
Shiiit!
Tay moved off the plastic mat onto the blanket and switched off his phone. Ink folded the game away and pushed it back into the bag. His mind was racing. He lay down on his side, shifting his leg to try and disguise the bulge in his boxers. At least he’d not run for the house. The thought had gone through his mind.
“You started this,” Tay said quietly.
“What?” Ink asked with as much indignation as he could muster. “When? How?”
“I think…from the moment you bought me that coffee.”
Oh God.“And the sausage roll.”
“Why did you do that?” Tay asked quietly. “Why buy a complete stranger a coffee when you have hardly any money? I know you told me you were going to leave me with Dog and run, but why me?”
“You looked sad and in pain. I thought you were lonely and I wanted to make you smile. And I’d seen you in your chair and that day you were on your crutches and you were trying to get better, even though you were struggling. I have a thing for people who keep trying. And I just… I changed my mind about running. I shouldn’t have changed my mind. I’ve messed things up.”
“I don’t think you have.”
“Believe me, I’m an expert in messing things up.”
“I want to put things right.”
Ink could hear what Tay was saying but he was seized by uncertainty. For all that he’d wanted something to happen between them, he knew it could only lead to disappointment and disaster.
Tay leaned over, took Ink’s wrists in one hand and held them above his head. And Ink let him. More than let him. Wanted…Oh God.He needed Tay to push this because he couldn’t. Breathing became tricky. Tay shuffled a little closer, and tricky became impossible. Tay put his hand under Ink’s chin and tilted his face up to his.
“You’re very interesting,” Tay whispered. “Mysterious. Intriguing.”
Oh God.So much for staying under the radar.
“Since I came down to London, nothing interesting has happened to me. You’ve made me think, made me wonder. You’ve made me brave.”
Tay swallowed hard, then brushed his lips over Ink’s. When Tay pulled back, Ink stared into his eyes trying to figure out how he’d suddenly lost control of the situation.
“You’rekissingme?” Ink whispered.
“Trying to.”
“Are you sure you want to do this?”
“I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing, just that I have to do it.”
Goose bumps erupted over Ink’s body. He wanted to saygoodbut the word lodged in his throat. He ought to saydon’tbut that word floundered somewhere belowgood.A long way below.
“Your lips are soft.” Tay smiled.
“Is that what’s going through your head? That I have soft lips?”
“Yep, along with—oh fuck, I’m about to kiss a guy. Is it different to kissing a girl? Does one of us have to be in charge? What if I can’t stop kissing him? What if I don’t like it? What if he thumps me? What if I freak out and thump him? What if he thinks I’m crap at kissing? What if a meteor lands on us before I get to kiss you?”
“Is that all?”
