Page 12 of Inbetweeners
“It is, isn’t it? I had a look in your wardrobe.”
“Of course you did.” Emmett wanted to growl at him.
“Put a bible in your hand and you’d look like one of the God Squad, knocking on people’s doors and persuading them to let Jesus into their lives. Are you one of them?”
Emmett felt a moment of horror he might have ever done that. But it didn’t mean he couldn’t have.No, not me.
“Not that there’s anything wrong with that,” Phoenix continued. “Good luck to them. It must feel reassuring to have something you believe in that strongly. I mean no one’s likely to open the door if you’re dressed like a tramp, are they?”
“Like you, you mean?”
Phoenix clutched his chest. “Now I’m hurt. You don’t like my jeans? I think my arse looks particularly tasty.”
Don’t think about his arse.“More skinny than tasty.” What a lie. “You’re very vain. Even with that scar on your face.”Oh shit, why did I say that?
“And you’re a dickhead.”
Emmett swallowed hard. No mistaking the harsh tone in that response. Phoenix’s arse was…Can’t I be nice?They had to work together, so he had to make an effort. And it looked like Phoenix was gay, which was a plus.Think of something pleasant to say.Emmett thought. Hard.
“Do you have a big cock?” Phoenix asked.
The loudly spoken, juvenile question made Emmett trip, and he almost fell over. “You can’t ask questions like that!”
“Do you though? I’m just wondering if there’s anything about you to admire. I’m struggling to find something, to be honest.”
Wanker!
They made their way down Trafalgar Road with Emmett trying to think of anything other than cocks before he changed tack and said, “It’s huge, actually.”
Phoenix laughed. “You’ll have to show me.”
“You’ll have to use your imagination.”
“I was hoping you’d be fun.”
“I was hoping you’d be normal.”
“Where’s the fun in that?”
“You’ll never know.”
Phoenix didn’t respond and Emmett felt guilty.WHY? He’s a dickhead!
“The flat’s nice,” Emmett said finally.
“Yeah, except we have to share a room. The bastards were too mean to cough up for two bedrooms?”
Emmett gave in.Fuck guilt.
They walked the rest of the way in silence. Well, apart from Phoenix’s cheerful whistling that immediately got on Emmett’s nerves. Emmett unlocked the door downstairs, then the one to the flat and headed down the short hallway to the main room, Phoenix on his heels.
“We should probably talk,” Emmett said.
“Later. I’m not in the mood.” Phoenix dropped onto the couch, picked up the remote, turned on the TV and began to flick through the channels. When he settled on ice hockey, Emmett groaned.
“You can’t be serious.”
“Why? What do you want to watch?The Great British Sewing Bee?Naked Attraction?Antiques Roadshow?Ice hockey’s great. All those tall, fit guys with rock-hard six packs. They move like lightning and hit like tanks.” Phoenix put his feet up on the coffee table and Emmett winced. “Think of that testosterone. Sit down and watch.”
