Page 27 of Let Me
“If you don’t let her go, I swear to God Benji, I will—” Caden doesn’t have to finish because Benji does.
He lets go, and I pull back, stumbling in my heels, but I catch myself against the wall of the alley. I dust my hands off and glare at Benji, who is smiling at me.
“You have no idea. You think you know?” I take a step forward, and Benji seems surprised at my gall. Hell, I’m surprised too. He’s intimidating. “If you really did know,Benji,” there’s venom in the way I say his name, “then you wouldn’t be cornering me in an alleyway. You have no fucking clue.” This time, I push past him, and he doesn’t stop me.
My eyes flash at Caden. “Thanks for stepping in. I really appreciate it,” I say sarcastically before I walk away.
I get lost in the crowd, take a few deep breaths. I think about the creeps in this city. Creeps I never really had to deal with before, notoutsidemy mother’s walls. Before…when she wasn’t who she is now. I never dealt with them because I knew Jack and Caden would. At one time, I thought Rolland Virani would, too.
At one time, I came to him, unintentionally. I had run from Mom’s, from a man there, a man who I knew meant to hurt me. And Mom had been too high to care, to even notice. And I ran right into Rolland Virani’s arms, looking for a place to stay the night.
That was a mistake.
Everything with the Viranis had been a mistake.
I shake it off. Or try to. Since starting at Campbell, moving to North Carolina—a move that took a lot of persuading on my part in regard to Rolland’s leash on me—it’s been easier to forget. To pretend I’m not under Rolland’s control, maybe for the rest of my life. Sometimes I want to sayFuck it, and just let him use the blackmail he holds against me. But I never have.
For Caden.
I would tear myself apart,amtearing myself apart, to keep it from him. It would break him. It’s bad enough he had to see the video. He doesn’t deserve it. Sometimes, I think I do. This is my eternal punishment for Jack’s death. Caden thinks I got away with murder.
I didn’t get away with it.
I’m still paying for it.
I stop at a busy crosswalk, and then I hear an engine revving and someone calling my name. I look up, see a black Infiniti right beside me, the window down, and Caden sitting behind the wheel at the red light.
“Get in,” he calls, a command in his words.
I shake my head. Not this shit again.
“Riley.” His eyes darken, and I find myself taking a step forward, even though my mind tells me to stay where I am. “Get in.”
The walk isn’t far. I could be at the condo in five minutes. In fact, the drive will take longer. But for some reason, because my body has always been good at betraying me, my legs move, and I open the door and slide into the leather seat.
I slam the door closed and Caden takes off, expertly weaving in and out of traffic. We don’t speak, and ten minutes pass, and the condo I’m staying at is long gone. The windows are still down and the summer night rushes in. Music is playing in the car, Bring Me the Horizon,why you gotta kick me when I’m down.
They used to be our favorite band. Not that we talked about it. But I heard him playing them in his room. I know he heard me, too.
I don’t dare look at him. Not until we’re out of the city, on the highway, and I need to know where the fuck I’m going.
“Why did you pick me up?” I ask him.
He doesn’t look at me, and his jaw clenches. But he doesn’t say a word.
I roll my eyes and sigh. “Whydid you pick me up?” I ask again. He’s always been this way. He only says something when he wants to, and he’s never seemed to feel awkward ignoring me, or anyone else, for that matter. It used to drive me wild when I was at his parents’ house. He and his friends would pretend I didn’t exist some days, while others, he’d barge in his brother’s room and tell him to calm the fuck down.
The silence stillisdriving me wild, but no matter how I still feel about him, I should not be in his car, going fuck knows where. If Rolland knew, he’d kill us both.
Once, I think Rolland wanted me to be Jack’s. Because when you lock up your possessions, you know where they are. You can always watch them. But after I left him, he was glad. It meant he didn’t have to be so careful, not if he didn’t want to. And Rolland never wanted to be careful.
Before I can ask again where we’re going, Caden exits off the highway, and I look into the darkness around us and realize with a start I recognize where we are.
Lake Jordan.
I used to sneak off to Lake Jordan, a lot. Me and probably half of our school. University students, too. Tyler and I loved that place. Jack never cared for it; he didn’t like to get dirty.
This exit has nothingbutthe lake, and a gas station which is the only light visible around us as we drive into the darkness. Caden has still said nothing.
