Page 97 of Let Me
Caden puts his hands around my waist. “Do you see?” he asks softly. “I need you near me.”
I don’t respond. I just lay my head against his chest, and stand there a long, long time, just like that, Benji at my back. There’s something comforting being here, between the two of them. Two boys who hated me just a few days ago, that now would do anything to protect me.
I never want to be apart from them.
THIRTY-NINE
Present
WHEN I COME downstairs Saturday morning and see Riley and Benji sitting by the pool in their swimsuits, legs dangling in the water, part of me wants to send Benji home, and part of me wants to thank him for watching out for my girl.
Last night, Riley and I went to bed late after I came in her more than once, and I know she’s going to get tired of taking Plan B, and she doesn’t want to get on birth control because she’s paranoid like that, about side effects. Too bad the side effect of nothing is getting fucking pregnant, so we’ll have to make another trip to the pharmacy today and then figure out a better solution later.
I wouldn’t mind so much, her having my children.
In fact, I’d fucking love it.
But I have to remind myself that she’s only 21, and besides that…I’m not ready to share her.
I slide open the glass door and let myself out into the sun, still in my boxers.
She looks over her shoulder at me, and her face breaks out into the biggest fucking smile. It takes everything in me to casually walk over to her and not run to her and pick her up and spin her in the air.
But I don’t have to do that.
Because she gets up and runs to me.
Even though I don’t think things will ever be easy between us, and even though I still don’t think I deserve her, I hope she always runs to me.
I nod aGood morningto Benji over her shoulder, and press her to me, my hands skimming down her back, over her bikini. She laughs against my bare chest, and I want to bottle it up and keep it forever.
And this, what I’m going to do now, that’s the first step to doing just that.
I clear my throat and she pulls back, looking up at me, chewing on her bottom lip.
I let go of her, bring my hands down by my sides. She frowns, and I want to kiss her all over again, run my fingers through her hair, lay her down right here in front of Benji and the goddamn sun shining overhead.
But I don’t.
Besides, I don’t want Benji to get any more ideas. He’s already too fond of her.
“Riley,” I say, and she tilts her head. Fuck, I love when she does that. “Monday we’re going back. To your apartment. And I want you to start school again. And you can quit your fucking job if you want to.”
She arches a brow, and I know she’s probably thinking,Don’t tell me what to do, but she doesn’t say anything, only waits.
“And then…” I take a breath. “When you’re done, next year, when you graduate…would you move in with me? There’s way too many fucking rooms here anyway, so your mom can take one, or we can get her a place nearby, or…” I trail off as I watch her frown.
My heart feels like it might beat out of my chest. If she doesn’t want this, if she doesn’t want me…and God forbid, if she wants motherfucking Benji…
“What about in between then? I don’t want to be apart for a whole year. I know your company is here. I can…” she shakes her head. “I can transfer school here or…”
I look at Benji, over her shoulder, and he winks at me.
The bastard.
He knows what I’m about to say, because we already discussed it, although now I’m not so sure it’s the best plan. But I refuse to leave her unprotected.
“No,” I say, shaking my head. “No. You’re going to finish school where you are. You’ve already come so far. You’re going to finish, and you and your mom are going to move places because it’s not safe anymore, but you’re going to finish.”
