Page 41 of These Monstrous Ties
Maybe I should be afraid. Maybe I’m a fucking idiot. But I do as he says.
And then he cuts a line all the way down from my chest to my thighs. The point of the knife skims the skin on my belly, but I don’t even flinch. He puts the knife down, and then pulls apart the rest of the fabric like it’s nothing.
And even though I’ve been naked in front of many, many different men, in all types of positions and various stages of sobriety, under his gaze, I feel as if I might melt. As if the fire in my core could burn us both. His eyes, even in the darkness, are full of a longing, a wanting, that I’d never seen before. Not from any man. It’s almost feral, what I see when he sees me.
He nudges my legs apart with his knee, his hands back on my wrists, pinning them above my head. He drinks me in with his eyes.
“Fuck, you have a perfect pussy.”
Then he lowers himself onto me, his chest brushing up against mine, his body skimming the length of my own.
“Is this what you want, Lilith?” he asks.
I buck my hips, trying to feel him against me, but he pulls away, teasing me. My wrists burn but I don’t want him to let go.
“Not until you’ve confessed,” he purrs against my neck, trailing kisses down my chest. Then, his eyes on me, his tongue swirls against my nipple and I gasp. The world seems to spin. I know I’ve drank far too much to really enjoy this like I should, but I push that thought aside.
“Confess?” I whisper. I thought I’d already done that. How many more sins does he want to take from me?
He bites down on my nipple, then flicks his tongue over it, soothing the burn. He holds my gaze the entire time. He bites again, eyes boring into mine, and I see blood on the corner of his lip. My blood.
“Do you want to take over the world with me?” he asks, his voice husky, his lips brushing my skin.
I let out a little laugh. “I’d do anything with you.”
He picks his head up at that, gazing down at me as if he’s searching for the truth in my drunkenness. I see his throat bob as he swallows. I see that delicious vein in his neck that I want to run my tongue over. He lets go of my wrist, yanks off his hoodie, pulls down his pants. He’s naked save for his boxer briefs, and his body is beautiful. Sculpted, smooth muscles, and I see his cock straining against black fabric. I see the skull tattooed on his thigh.
“After tonight,” he says, voice hoarse, leaning back into me, “what about then?”
I blink. After tonight. I wasn’t supposed to survive the night. This is supposed to be the end. Depression had visited me like a ghost in the night as far back as I could remember. I’m done drowning in the darkness. I want to finally die in it.
He grips my chin between his thumb and forefinger. “What about then?” he repeats, his voice cold.
I open my mouth, and he strokes his thumb over my swollen lip. I still taste his blood, and mine. He leans down, until we’re nose to nose.
“Say you’ll stay.”
I take a shaky breath. It isn’t a command, those words. It’s more like a plea.
“Please say you’ll stay,” he urges me again, his voice more desperate. “You don’t want to die.” He makes those last words both a question and a threat.
I hear someone moaning again in the distance of this fucked up place. I swear I hear someone whispering, too. I’m getting dizzy, and Lucifer being on top of me, so close to me, begging me to live, it doesn’t help me think.
I’ve been here before. Not emotionally, not like this with Lucifer. But I’ve blacked out more times than I’d like to count. And I’ve had far too much to drink tonight. I’m fading, and some small part of me is pissed off. I’ll have to wake up in the morning, and this all might turn into a dream. Lucifer might be gone. I might be alone. And I’ll have to find the gun in the morning light and work up the courage to pull the trigger all over again.
He presses a kiss to my lips, softer than all the others.
“Say you’ll stay, and I’ll always be here. We’ll always be like this. You take my sins, I’ll take yours.”
I struggle to keep my eyes open. I’m not going to last much longer here with him.
“I’m afraid when I wake up, you’ll be gone.”
I should be ashamed of those words, but I’m not.
I don’t want this strange, twisted boy to leave.
He kisses me again. “I’ll never leave you,” he swears. “And if you leave me…the Unsaints will know how to find you.”
