Page 69 of Break Me
Twenty-One
I thinkI know where Rolland is.
Or rather, Felix thinks he knows where he’s been staying.
I’m waiting for Caden to fly in from Toronto while I sit in Riley’s apartment, my ankle crossed over my knee on her couch. She’s in the shower, and she has no idea I’m in here so I keep listening for her to get out, so I can warn her without scaring the shit out of her.
I tried to call Ava, but she didn’t answer. I’m not at all surprised. I haven’t spoken to her in the week since I followed her and her fucking professor downtown and found her in the bathroom. I haven’t seen her in class, and unlike last week, when she was just avoiding me, I don’t think she’s been.
I wonder if her mom has passed.
If so, I want to know. And I’m not even sure why. I should let it go. She’s making it easy, ignoring me like this.
But I fucking hate being ignored.
I’m the one that does the ignoring. And she…she’s flipped this on its head.
I shake out two Xanax from my bottle, screw the cap back on, and pick up the beer on the coffee table. Poor choices. I’m starting not to give a shit.
After I swallow them, it’s Riley that startles me when she clears her throat behind me and asks, “What the fuck are you doing?”
I twist on the couch to face her. The fact she asked me that means she saw me take the pills. She’s got a towel wrapped around her body, her wet hair around her face and down her back. And she’s scowling at me, because that’s what most people seem to do when they see me.
I eye her up and down just to see her blush. She averts her wide green eyes and makes to turn around.
“Stop,” I say, and she does, meeting my gaze. For one second, I think about how good she felt, when I was inside of her, Caden behind her. I think about how we needed that, that release. How all of our hatred, everything between her and Caden and Jack, culminated in that moment.
And how me and Caden completely failed her when we let Rolland live.
Of how if Ava ever let me, I’d never let her down. But she won’t let me. She shouldn’t. I need to get her the fuck out of my head.
“Caden is on the way,” I tell Riley, even though I’m sure she knows. She doesn’t seem surprised, so I go on. “Tonight…” I trail off. This time I’m the one to look down. It’s not that I’m against murder. Felix is taking care of the name and the address that was in the mailbox at the winery as we speak.
It’s that…
Well, this feels much, much more personal.
“It’s going to be taken care of.” I meet Riley’s gaze.
I watch her throat bob as she swallows, fisting her hands at her sides, her towel tucked in tightly, so it doesn’t fall.
“Benji,” she starts, and I know she’s about to lecture me about the beer and the Xanax. Ava would have gotten to me. I would have stopped for her. But that kind of manipulation isn’t good for anyone, and I would never tell Ava that.
But then a pounding on Riley’s door makes us both flinch, startling Ava from my thoughts.
“Get to your room,” I tell Riley as I get off the couch and grab the gun from the second drawer on the right set of cabinets in her kitchen, adjacent to the living room.
But she doesn’t.
“Riley,” I growl, warning her. But I hear her take the chef’s knife from the block and she fucking follows me in her towel to the door.
Whoever it is knocks again, more frantic.
“Riley get the fuck back to your room,” I spit at her, but I know she won’t listen and I peek through the peephole, my hand steady on the gun.
But it’s not at all who I expect it to be.
I pull open the latch, undo the deadbolt, and throw open the door.
