Page 113 of Pray for Scars
She opens her eyes. “Okay.” But I don’t even think she’s talking to me anymore. She’s trying to steady herself. “Okay,” she says again. She pulls back, slides her hand from my face and holds out her palm.
The one I marked her with.
Coagula.
To come together.
To bind.
I hold mine up, too, and she presses mine to hers. My flesh is still tender, and I know hers is, too, but we don’t let go.
“I don’t know how to love you.”
I feel those words in my fucking gut. I wonder if that’s how Jeremiah felt, when I plunged the knife into him. I wonder if that’s how he felt when he watched the flames drawing closer.
I hope he did.
Because nothing could hurt worse than that.
“With everything between us…with everything we just learned, Lucifer.” She swallows, averts her eyes. “Our fathers were…they were horrible. To both of us. And I don’t know how to handle that. I don’t know how to love you through it.” Her hand trembles against mine. “But…I’ll try.” She takes a deep, shaky breath. “I’ll try, okay?” When she looks back up at me, tears are spilling down her cheeks, and she bites her lip to stop it from trembling.
I can’t keep this space between us.
I close it, picking her up, and her legs wrap around me. “Okay,” I tell her. I kiss her cheek, her eyes, her brow, her nose. “Okay.” And then I carry her up the stairs.
When I reach the bed, I lay her down, gently, and although all I really want to do is wrap my fingers around her throat, I don’t. I pull up her shirt, smooth back her hair.
My body is over hers, covering her. My mouth finds her neck, but I don’t bite her. I kiss her softly instead, and she bucks her hips against me.
I pull back, spread her knees wider, and then I take my cock in my hand, and rub it along the length of her wet, pink slit.
Her eyes close, and her chest heaves as she catches her breath from crying downstairs.
I reach for her breast, slowly trailing my fingers across her chest to the other one, circling her nipples with light touches.
“Open your eyes,” I whisper to her, still running my cock up and down her pretty little pussy.
She does, and they lock on mine.
“Don’t look away from me, okay?” I whisper, and I lean over her, nudging the tip of my dick into her.
She nods.
I push further in, the feel of her around me making me groan. “Say it,” I say, the words urgent as I push further and she moans, her eyes never leaving mine. “Say you won’t look away.” I’m all the way inside of her, her legs wrapped around my back, her face in my hands as I thrust into her, when she finally says it.
“I won’t,” she promises me, whimpering as I pull out and push back into her. “I won’t look away.”
“Not ever, okay, baby?”
Her eyes look so sad, and they close, just for a second, as I move inside of her. But then she focuses again, and she answers me. “Never, Lucifer. Never.”
And I cradle her head in my hands, my mouth against her neck as I fuck her, feeling her nails dig into my back. She might not want me to hurt her right now, and I won’t. I’ll do whatever she wants.
But I feel myself coming close and I can’t stop the “Fuck,” that escapes my throat as I move faster, sliding in and out of her tight opening, until I come inside of her, moaning her name,Lilith, as I finish, in her.
And I know, when I pull back, her face flushed, her nails still in my back, that eventually I will.
Eventually I’ll hurt her all over again. And she’ll hurt me. And as many times as I’ve come inside of her, I think she knows exactly how to do it.
