Page 132 of The Cruelest Chaos
Does Ella?
Do I?
“I love him so much,” Sid whispers, pain in her words. “And that’s why I have to leave him.”
Sometimes you leave the things you love, to keep them safe from just how strong your love can be. Because you love them enough to save them from yourself.
Keep Ella safe.
Love,
Your Angel
“He’s not making you do this?” I still can’t look up. I still can’t meethiseyes.
“No, Mav. This is my choice.” Another step. “Goodbye, Ella.”
“Ria.” I get her name out before I lose it. Before I stop them. I meet Ria’s gaze, ignoring the man who has his arms wrapped around her. “Ria. I’m so sorry.”
Tears streak down her beautiful cheeks. “It’s okay, Maverick,” she lies to me. “I understand why you did it.” She turns away.
And then Sid and Ria walk out with Jeremiah Rain, and I don’t stop them.
* * *
I don’t thinkabout him. Lucifer. I don’t know how many levels of betrayal our brotherhood can survive, but I think I’ve passed all of them. I think this last thing…he won’t forgive me this.
But if I had stopped her, if I hadn’t let her go, I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself.
Ella’s hand in mine is the only thing that keeps me from sinking to my knees as we make our way up the steep stairs of whatever building this underground tunnel was built beneath. Leaving my father behind for fate to decide if he lives or dies.
Amor fati.I wonder how much he’s loving it now.
Ella doesn’t speak, and I can only imagine what she’s thinking. I can only imagine how she feels. I can only imagine that when we get back home, she’s going to run.
I can only imagine that if I stop her, I’ll be no better than everyone else.
I push open the door at the top of the stairs and warm air greets us; a relief from the cold underground.
I blink, trying to take in exactly where we are, Ella walking in the door behind me. I hear music playing;Linger, by Stuck Out. It’s loud and stabs a fucking knife through my chest, and I just want it off.
I just want silence.
But before I can demand anything, before I can ask anyone where the hell we are—an empty basement it looks like, with concrete floors and apparently, speakers in the wall, a dim light on overhead—Lucifer appears from the shadows, rushing over to me.
He’s got something in his hand, his fist clenched around the papers so hard he’s torn them.
My blood runs cold.
How did he get those?
His jaw is set, his blue eyes flashing as he charges toward me.
I shove Ella behind me, drop her hand, and I take a step toward him. But he stops. Inches from my face, he stops, breathing hard.
Circles line his eyes, dirt on his face like I’m sure it’s on mine. His eyes are streaked with red veins, and he’s only wearing a black t-shirt and dark jeans, his hoodie gone.
He wipes the back of his hand over his nose, which I realize is running.
