Page 84 of The Cruelest Chaos
“Why doesn’t Sid have a car?” Cain asks quietly.
Lucifer steps back and turns to the side so he can see all of us. “Are you all seriously questioning me about myown fucking family right now?”
“We’re all a family,” Ezra says, a hard edge to his voice.
Lucifer runs his thumb over his mouth, drops his hand. “Fuck you. All of you.”
Atlas blows out a breath. “Look, Luce, I think you’re going through some shit and maybe you should just talk to us about it.” He adjusts his hat again, a nervous habit. “We’re here for you, okay? I know you just…ya know, everything with your dad and shit….”
Lucifer stares at Atlas as if he’s grown another fucking head. “You don’t know shit about my dad.”
At that, I can’t keep quiet, but I’m surprised to see that Ezra, too, stands to his feet, just as I do, his jaw set.
“Newsflash, motherfucker,” I spit out before Ez can speak, “you’re not the only one with a shitty fucking childhood.”
“You have no idea what my childhood was like—”
“You think you know mine?” I step around the pew, coming to stand in front of him. Cain stands up, at Lucifer’s back, and Ezra and Atlas are behind me. “You think you know shit about me? Tell me something, Luce. Tell me how I got to be calledMayhem.”
Lucifer snorts. “This sounds too much like a ‘Do you want to know how I got these scars?’ type story, and honestly, Mav,no,I don’t want to fucking know.” He takes a breath, and something in his gaze softens. “I know since Malachi—”
“Don’t you fucking dare.” I don’t want to hear that name. I don’t want to think about him. Talk about him. They only know half the story. The half where I pushed my own brother off the fucking roof of my house.
“You guys are stupid,” Cain says quietly behind Lucifer’s back. “We’ve known each other since we were born. We’ve been inthissince we were born. We all know thatwe allgot fucked up.” Then he looks to me. “But you, Mav? You need to leave Ella alone.”
“The fuck are you talking about?” I ask, caught off guard, my pulse still flying from wanting to bust Lucifer’s fucking lip.
Cain laughs quietly, shaking his head and slipping his hands into his pockets. He looks like a damn Arabian billionaire, which I guess he is. He’s always possessed more common sense than the rest of though, so I let him finish. “It’s obvious.” He nods toward me, stepping up beside Lucifer. “You’re falling for her.”
“How in the actualfuckis that obvious?”
Lucifer answers before Cain can. “Jeremiah Rain knows about her, which means he’s fucking watching us. Looking for our weak spots. You threw him into a pool table last night and nearly choked him to death for her, and if I recall correctly, last time you saw him,you fucking saved his life.”He cracks his knuckles. “Tell me you don’t feel something for her.”
I don’t answer him. He doesn’t know shit about me, or her. Us.
Cain sighs. “I hate to say it, but your father was right, Mav. You need to deal with Ria, and not get entangled withanysteady pussy until then.”
I feel my jaw clench at the way he refers to Ella, but I fight back that impulse. That desire to stand up for her. It’ll only prove them right. And last night, when Jeremiah Rain had his mouth on her, when I was elbowing my way through the crowded bar, I could’ve killed him. I could’ve dug my nails into that still-healing wound I’m sure he’s got on his stomach and pulled out his fucking intestines.
But I can’t tell them that. I feel like I can’t tell them anything anymore.
“Let’s just make it to Noctem, where we can all let this shit out. Come together again.” Cain claps Lucifer on the shoulder, nearly making him topple to the damn floor. “Okay?”
Slowly, Lucifer nods.
Atlas grumbles his agreement. Ezra, too.
But I don’t. Not yet. I look at Lucifer, remembering how close we were just a few days ago, my mouth on his. “Luce, I know you’re dealing with shit,” I say quietly, “but Sid is, too. And you need to be there for her. But stop fucking suffocating her.”
He doesn’t look at me, but Cain squeezes his shoulder, and then, slowly, he nods.
I tear my eyes away from him, feeling my chest tighten at things he doesn’t know. At the way he’s probably going to hate me when this is all over. And some sick part of me? Some sick part of me is looking forward to it. He can’t expect to act just like his brother, hisrealbrother, and not suffer the consequences. My sister deserves better.
Both of them.
Chapter Seventeen
Over a weekafter the fight at the bar, and I can’t sleep. Maverick is in bed beside me, his mouth open as he breathes slowly, his bare chest rising and falling in the dim light from the alarm clock on his side of the bed.
