Page 115 of Ecstasy
“You stupid, stupid fuck.” The words are barely out of his mouth before he shoves Eli against the door of the room, and I swear I hear the wood splintering. “You stupid motherfucker,” he says again, and he has both hands around Eli’s throat. He slams his head against the door once, twice, the sound so loud, the crack of Eli’s skull making me flinch each time. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“Alex,” I say, his name hoarse from my mouth. I wipe the back of my hand over my eyes. “Alex, can we just go please?”
Alex slams Eli’s head against the door again, but Eli just laughs. Like he doesn’t care. Like he’s a fucking psychopath.
But Alex laughs, too.
He steps back from Eli, letting him go, his hands up, letting him know he’s done.
He turns to face me.
“Fuck you, Zara. I am fucking done. I’m fucking done with you. Fuck you. Find your own fucking way home.”
And then he grabs his shirt from the floor and pulls it on. He steps to the door, grabs Eli by the collar, opens the door, and shoves Eli out before he follows, slamming the door so hard a book thuds to the floor from the built-in shelves.
I hold my breath, hoping he’ll come back.
Hoping he’ll at least take me home.
But he doesn’t.
Minutes pass and he doesn’t come back.
36
Eli
She begged him.
She fucking begged him when I gave her an out.
She fucking begged like she reallyisa fucking whore.
Alex locked the door before he pushed me out, and then left without a word to anyone. I thought about breaking down the door to the room she was in, butshe fucking begged him.
I went upstairs. Kaitlyn was in my face, demanding to know what the fuck I was thinking.
I left. Fuck her. Fuck Zara. Fuck Alex.
I left for my dad’s house. A two hour drive I took in silence.
My father lives ten minutes from Caven’s campus, but I never go home. He’s usually traveling anyway for work, or else he’s fucking some bitch he barely knows, and I don’t want to hear that shit.
When I get here, early Saturday morning, he’s gone.
I knew he would be. He’s with his girl of the week. It’s a little ironic, the one time I decide to come here, it’s when he’s gone. Maybe that’s why I’m here.
I don’t want to go to my house right now. I don’t want to see Alex. I don’t want to deal with that bullshit.
She fucking begged him.
I drop my bag by the door to Dad’s huge, empty house. The spacious foyer is the size of a goddamn bedroom itself, a winding staircase to my right. His office is to the left, closed and probably locked.
Addisons always like to keep their secrets close.
If you let people in, they can hurt you.
It’s a damn good thing I never let Zara in. She’s obviously not who I thought she was. I guess I thought that night, the one when I watched her take a knife from the block, roll down her shorts and run it across her hip as she cried, I guess that night I saw something that wasn’t really there.
