Page 76 of Ecstasy
I know, somewhere deep down, that’s just the molly talking, but it doesn’t change the feeling.
“You are,” I tell him.
He laughs against my ear, runs his lips against my neck. I shiver, my core tightening with his mouth on me. I want nothing more than to go upstairs and fuck him. Let him fuck me. Take turns exploring each other.
“I’m not even close, princess,” he tells me and my heart almost aches with those words because they’re not true.
I tell him that, my eyes still closed as I drown in the feel of him against me.
He sighs, his breath against my neck. “You’re mine, you know that?”
I think about Eli. This bad secret between us. I don’t want to, and I definitely shouldn’t say it, but I feel like maybe it would be best. Maybe if I just came clean to Alex, maybe if we just told each other our worst secrets, we could start over. We could start over and we could be like this, always. We wouldn’t fight or scream or yell, but we would be good for one another.
“I do bad things,” I tell him, testing the water, pressing further back against him, still swaying in his arms.
He tenses but holds me tighter. “I know.”
“Do you?” I counter, my words a whisper.
“Yes.” His every breath makes my nerves light up, and that warm, peaceful feeling in my chest expands.
I raise my arms up, wrap them around his neck. He runs his hands up my shirt and the feel of his warm skin on mine lights a fire in my core.
“Take me upstairs.”
His fingers dig into my skin. “Zara, what are you on this time?”
“Take me upstairs,” I say again, more urgent this time. “Take me upstairs, Alex, please.”I can feel his erection against my back, but I need it touching me, no clothes between us. I want him in my mouth, his hands all over my bare skin, completely naked with him inside of me.
I want him again. Always.
He takes a deep breath. I feel his chest rising and falling behind me, hear his indecision in the sound against my ear. But finally, as I keep swaying against him, feeling as if it’s just us at this party, no one else, not even Eli, he says, “Okay.”
And then I spin in his arms, eyes flying open, and he picks me up. I wrap my legs around him, cup his face in my hands and kiss his lips. His grip on my thighs tightens and he kisses me back, opening his mouth for me.
It’s intoxicating, this kiss. I almost don’t want to go upstairs. I almost want to love him right here, right in this kitchen. But he breaks away from our kiss and I lay my head against his shoulder as he carries me down the hall. There’s a lot of noise coming from the living room. I hear people shouting his name and someone whistling, but the music is really loud, too, and I focus on that, swaying in his arms as he carries me up.
I don’t think about Eli. Don’t look for him.
Alex takes me down the hall, toward his room. He shoulders open the door, kicks it closed behind us.
He sets me on my feet but keeps an arm around my shoulders as he slides up the dimmer on the lights, a soft, dim glow barely illuminating the room.
His bed—decked in Caven-blue—is opposite a flat screen TV mounted on the wall, and angled beside his bed is a loveseat, but otherwise, the room is clean and empty.
I glance at his nightstand.
The Bible is still there.
Alex steps toward me, his hands moving down to my hips as he stares at me, blowing out a breath. “I’m glad I got you away from everyone,” he says, his voice rough.
I smile at him, gripping his biceps. “You can invite some people up here if you—”
He puts his hand over my mouth, startling me. “I’m not like you,” he informs me, taking another step toward me, forcing me to concede one. My mouth is dry again and I think maybe I should have had more water but it’s a little late for that now.
Besides, when my legs bump up against the bed, all I want to do is tell Alex to lie down on it so I can ride him. So I can make him feel good, because he deserves it. We deserve it.
“I don’t want to share,” he keeps talking, his warm hand still clamped over my mouth. “I’m not going to. Ever again.”
