Page 24 of Ecstasy
I turn back to Kylie and nod. I’m in black booty shorts and a white tank and really should shower but I guess braids will do for today. My bleached white hair probably needs as little time as possible under a blow dryer anyway. More dry shampoo will do the trick.
But what I really care about more than the state of my hair is getting to the tampon box under my bathroom sink. Can’t really do that with Kylie standing in my doorway though.
“How are you?” she asks, rubbing her hand up her arm as she watches me. I pick my phone up from the nightstand but don’t look at it.
“Great,” I lie.
She frowns, her thick, dark brows pulling together. “Zara, you don’t have to keep things from me, you know. If you’re feeling upset about—”
“I didn’t even know Rihanna.” Which is the truth. And what I did know of her, I didn’t fucking like. She kissed Alex after practice last week in the name of being a “good cheerleader”, or whatever bullshit he mumbled to me when I lost my shit on him.
Fuck her.
God, I’m going to hell.
“Yeah, but even besides that… I’ve heard some things. And uh…seen some things,” Kylie continues.
I cross my arms, clench my phone tight in one hand. My usually rather eloquent roommate is stumbling over her words and it’s making me uncomfortable. And angry.
“What are you really asking me, Kylie?”
Like most people, despite my mother’s warning, I think Kylie believes that rehab is a cure for druggies, and I’m all fine. So, I don’t think she’s asking me about drugs.
Which is good because I’m not talking about them. But I don’t want to talk about what it is I know she’s about to bring up either.
She takes a deep breath, wringing her hands together as she leans against my doorway. “Are you still with Alex?” There’s a note of anger in her words, which is unusual coming from her. Kylie doesn’t really get angry, so I kind of feel a little sistership with her in this moment, knowing she probably saw that video and she’s probably pissed on my behalf, but still, it’s not really her business.
I roll my eyes. “So what if I am?” I counter.
She looks concerned. “I saw the video, Zara,” she confirms. “Everyonehas probably seen the video.” She bites her tongue a second, waiting for me to say something but when I don’t, she adds, “You didn’t look like you were enjoying it.”
I laugh out loud, dropping my hands by my sides. “Yeah? Well I saw the video too. Good thing there were so many damn people there live and in person, because it’s kind of hard to make out the details of my nipples, huh?” I’ve seen a few of the videos, but only one really captures the heartwarming moment.
And it’s blurry, and bodies are in the way, so whatever.
Kylie’s cheeks flush pink but she doesn’t drop my gaze. “Tell me you aren’t with him. You know he’s a complete jerk anyway.”
It’s not breaking news to me that she thinks that. She warned me about him when we started dating in the spring, telling me he had a bad temper. Was a loudmouth. Obnoxious. All the things you could expect from a preacher’s kid gone wild.
He is all of those things.
But I need someone like that. Not that it matters.
I blow out a breath and break the news to her, “No, we aren’t together. But not because of the video.”
Kylie’s mouth hangs open and she shakes her head, about to say something when I beat her to it.
“It’s because I cheated on him,” I admit, feeling my stomach clench as I do. “Last week.” I shrug, turn away from her and step into my bathroom, setting my phone on the counter and glancing in the mirror.
God, what a mess.
I lick my finger and start rubbing away the eyeliner from under my eyes. Then I hear Kylie step into the bedroom, and she comes to stand in the doorway of my bathroom.
“You, what?” she croaks.
I glance at her big brown eyes in the mirror. “I cheated on him,” I tell her again, more slowly this time.
She chews on her lip as I part my hair, going to work on one section, twisting it into braids.
