Page 27 of Ecstasy
I’m headed to Kivett,walking across the quad, my head held high and a smile on my face from the Vyvanse. I’ve got my fingers clenched around my green backpack. The sun is out. The fountain in the center of the quad is clear and sparkling, and while there are papers with Rihanna’s face on them and the date and time of her candlelit vigil taped to the light poles around Caven’s well-manicured campus, I’m feeling good.
No one has said shit to my face about the video, and most people seem too caught up in their own lives to give a damn about me anyway. The joys of college.
I’m about to turn off the brick walkway to head up the steep stairs to Kivett Hall when someone calls my name at my back.
I straighten my spine, bite back my smile.
I know that voice so well.
Tightening my fingers on my backpack straps, I turn around.
Alex is staring right at me, his brow furrowed, hands in the pockets of his grey pants. The sun is behind him, catching the lighter brown shades of his hair. But I’m standing in his shadow, and I can see the worry in his eyes.
Behind him, Eli Addison is looking at me with a strange expression on his face. Like we share a secret, the way his eyes are narrowed in on mine, but there’s a slight curve to his lips. Almost as if he’s smirking at me.
I know they go to the gym together in the mornings, and they’re both business majors and have a class together, which is why he’s here, I guess.
Alex steps closer to me, blocking my view of Eli.
I turn my gaze back to him, smiling. “Hi, baby.”
He swallows and looks down at his shoes. “You haven’t answered any of my texts, Za.”
I step even closer, until there’s little distance between us and I can smell him. He smells like fall. It’s my favorite season. “Sorry,” I tell him, trying to mean it. But since I’ve been sleeping hard the past few days, I’m not all that sorry. “I was just, you know, trying to process everything.”
“There’s a body in the pool, baby girl.” Those words echo in my head, and I’m glad I can’t see Eli right now.
Alex nods once, like he understands. His brow is still furrowed, but he finally looks back up to meet my eye. “I was worried about you.”
I put my hand on his arm, beneath his white t-shirt and he seems to relax a little. “How are you?”
He chews the inside of his mouth a second before he says, “It’s weird. But I’m fine.” He shakes his head, and then his hand snakes around my waist, jerking me toward his warm body. He leans down close to me, his fingers splayed against my shirt. “Hey, I just—I’m sorry about this past weekend. About the flashing, and…” He shakes his head and takes another deep breath. “That wasn’t cool.”
I put my hand against his chest, feeling warmth spreading in my own with his words. “I’m sorry too, Alex.”
I watch his throat bob as he swallows and then he straightens, letting his arm fall from my waist. I drop my hand, missing his warmth already. I want to ask him so many things. I want to ask if we’re okay. If he really is done with me. If we took all of this too far.
But he takes a step back and I see Eli again. Alex turns to glare at him, and Eli steps forward, his dark green eyes locked on mine. He’s got a messenger bag over his shoulder, a blue Caven Wrestling hoodie beneath it.
“We okay?” he asks me in that lilting, quiet voice. I’m not so sure the question is sincere. His lips kind of turn up into a smile and Alex is still glaring at him. I assume Alex put him up to this.
My vagina kind of hurts when I think of Eli curling his fingers up when Alex pulled me off of them.
I bite my tongue, holding back my wince. “Yeah, it’s fine,” I tell Eli.
His eyes rake up and down my body and I think about him standing in front of me over the weekend. Think about his hands around that guy’s throat.
I take a step back, looking at Alex again. “Want to meet later?”
Alex runs his hand through his hair, and it’s a sexy, disheveled mess like always. “I have practice later, and a marketing paper due tomorrow.” He shrugs, dropping his hand. “Tomorrow?”
My chest deflates at that. I guess he hasn’t really forgiven me. I can’t blame him.Don’t leave me.
I don’t say that. I don’t beg.
“Right. Tomorrow.” I turn on my heel and head up the steps to Kivett.
6
