Page 37 of Ecstasy
I rub my hands together, lower myself onto the floor and cross one leg over the other so I’m not all spread out in front of Jax. I’m pretty sure he’s not at all interested in me. He’s never made a move and I know he sees some chick that he’s always off and on again with. Either way, he seems to see me as strictly a friend and the feeling is mutual. It’s good to be friends with your dealer. They won’t sell you shit laced with fentanyl or jack up the prices for no damn reason.
And they let you try shit for free, like right now.
“What is it?” I ask, holding back, but my palms are sweaty. I’m ready to get fucked up before any of the people he invited come over.
He scratches his neck again and smiles. “I’d rather not say yet.”
I give him thelook. What kind of bullshit is that? Even I’m not that stupid. Or willing, I don’t think.
He laughs, swatting away my concern with a lazy flick of his hand. “Nah, nothing crazy. It’s kinda like K, kinda like coke. You get that kinda spacey feeling but like, a little hype too.”
My eyes widen. “A dissociative and a stimulant? Count me the fuck in.”See Kylie, I could be a pharmacist too.
He smiles, rolling his eyes. “Knew you’d be down.” Then he pulls his wallet out of his pocket, tightly rolls up a twenty and hands it to me. “You can take ‘em all.”
He doesn’t need to tell me twice. The lines are gone in no time.
And it tastes like shit, dripping down the back of my throat. I can’t help the snorting sound I make, coughing and rubbing the back of my hand over my nose
“What the fuck?” I say, the taste like a mix of chemicals and tar. I swallow as Jax gets up, taking the rolled up twenty and spoon back into the kitchen. “Need to work on your taste testing,” I call out to him, massaging my throat. “Shit tastes terrible.”
He laughs and comes back into the living room with an unopened sports drink. I twist off the cap, gulp the red liquid down until I can’t taste whatever the fuck I just snorted.
I massage my throat again, then twist the cap on the bottle. I can’t feel shit yet, but I’m just glad that taste is out of the back of my throat. The drip is awful.
Jax lights up a cigarette, sitting back down on the floor at the table, beside me. He pulls the ashtray in the center of the table closer to him. “That bad?” he asks after he exhales a cloud of smoke.
I cough, making a show of it. “That bad,” I tell him truthfully. I drum my fingers on the table. “But I don’t taste it now. That drink works wonders.” I nod toward the half-empty bottle on the table between us. “How long ‘til I start feeling…” I trail off, because I can see the smoke from Jax’s cigarette in the air in front of me and it looks green.
I blink, and it’s back to white and grey but I blink again and it’s green, almost shimmering. The music, the table, Jax himself, they’re all in the background of what I’m seeing.
I lift my hand to touch the smoke and my hand feels heavy. I catch sight of it, and it seems like it’s not quite mine. But that’s my black polish and the freckle on the back of my hand. But it still looks like it belongs to someone else.
I clamp my fingers around my wrist, holding my hand up, and it looks like my hands are just holding themselves. Detached from me.
Jax laughs. “Yeah. Not long.”
I drop my hands and turn to stare at him.
He’s watching me with mild amusement. “You all right?”
I nod, staring at his mouth. When he spoke, it wasn’t with that same lazy drawl. It was musical.
“Say it again.” I clamp a hand over my mouth. My voice is music too.
He laughs. “You all right?”He smiles, then asks, “You wanna put on the music?” His words seem to float in the air. “Might help you out.”
I smile at him and nod slowly, then reach for my phone, tucked into my bra. My fingers seem like they belong to someone else, but strangely enough, they do what I will them to do.
They move with my thoughts.
My fingers move with my thoughts. Holy shit.
Distracting me from music and the insanity of that revelation, I’ve got a text from Alex. Asking if he could come over. Then several more after that.
Alex:Come on, Zara. Don’t be fucking shady.
Alex:I’ve had a long day.
