Page 58 of Ecstasy
I snatch my phone back up when I see Eli’s text finally come through.
Eli:How does it feel being with someone who wants to control the fuck out of you?
I roll my eyes in the dark.
Me:That’s not an answer, Eli Addison.
Despite how annoyed I am, I can’t help smiling as I type out his first and last name.Don’t be stupid, Zara.But fuck, I can’t seem to stop.
Eli:Oh, I like when you say my name.
I slam my phone down on my mattress, biting my lip to stifle my laughter. He is so weird. I pick my phone back up to ask him about Kylie and Alex again, but he’s already texted me again.
Eli:What’s your middle name?
I’m momentarily distracted from the Kylie bullshit.
Me:You’re my number one stalker. Shouldn’t you know?And then, because I’m clearly stupid, I add,What’s yours?
He replies instantly.
Him:Adonis.
And right after that.
Him:You’re cute, you know that, Zara Rose?
I place a hand over my heart, willing it to chill out.
Me:How did you know that?
I find myself holding my breath while I wait for his response. There are a lot of red flags here. Eli is not a good guy. Not just that, but he lives with Alex. For all I know, they both could be fucking me over right now.
Even if they’re not, this won’t end well for me. They’ll probably get over me, go back to being bros. But they’ll forget all about me, and I’ll be alone, and I can’t do that. I can’t fucking do it.
The internet has everything,he responds.
Yeah, maybe so, but even still, whether he’s a real stalker or just good at searching online, I know what I need to say next.
Me:We shouldn’t do this.
I send it before I can psyche myself out of it, but I’m still staring at my phone, waiting for those three little dots to let me know he’s replying. Maybe to tell me he agrees or to say we’ll put this behind us. Or even to tell me he’s sorry for fucking me over.
But he doesn’t say any of that. Instead, he replies with,Do you want to stop?
My heart is hammering so hard in my chest I feel like I might have a heart attack.Do I want to stop?I don’t know.
Before I can answer, another text comes in, and it makes my stomach flip, every nerve in my body tingling.
Him:I don’t like it when he hurts you.
My hand is sweaty on my phone, one hand flat against the mattress. I don’t know what to say. I just keep staring at it until the screen dims and then goes black.
I don’t like it when he hurts you.
I close my eyes, but then the screen lights back up and I see it beyond my lids. Taking a deep breath, I force my eyes open and read the next message.
Him:I know you hurt him too. Do you think you’ll always be like that? What if you found the right person?
