Page 104 of Ominous: Part 1
“Don’t give me that attitude.” He leaves one arm around me, but grabs my chin with his fingers, lifting my head as my pulse skitters with his touch on my face. “Do you want me to help you?” There’s something dangerous in his offer, and I can’t name it. I’m still pressed against his chest, my palms between us, and I feel the sure and steadiness of his pulse.
But there’s just… something off. If I hadn’t been drinking all morning into noon, I might be able to name it. But I have been drinking,a lot,and so has he, really. Or maybe not… but he’s smoked a lot. Still, his movements aren’t unsure like mine.
I think I’m drunker than he is, and I don’t know if I feel elated with the revelation or terrified. It’s easier to let him touch me like this, and it’s easier for me to return it. It’s almost as if we’re a couple, the number of times we’ve brushed into each other, but we haven’t kissed. Not since the library, our first time.
“What is it you want to do to me?”
He runs his thumb over my bottom lip, a hunger in his gaze like he wants to eat me alive. He doesn’t speak for a moment, and I wonder what it is he’s really thinking, because I know he’ll say something different from that, won’t he? “I want to hold you under.”
I tense with his words, flexing my nails into his chest, realizing as the faintest wince pulls down on his mouth I’m pressing into his bruises.
I don’t stop, and he doesn’t move away. It feels like control, hurting him. But I’d never let anyone else do it.
“Hold me under…” I echo the question as if I’m not asking it. My voice sounds far away. It’s odd, how the day is so bright and nice andsunny,but everything feels a little cold.
Even my nipples tighten into sharp points all over again, and I squeeze my elbows closer to my chest to hide it, but I needn’t have bothered. Eli’s eyes haven’t left mine.
I have to look away for a second, and when I do, I think I see a warning of storm clouds. No thunder, no rain, but the skies past his neighborhood have darkened. I didn’t check the weather for the day. It didn’t matter to me. We’ve already ran in the rain, haven’t we?
“You trust me, don’t you?”
No.“I trust you,” the lie comes easy, “but I’m nervous.”
He lifts his brows, letting his fingers drift past my chin, over my throat, along my necklaces. I wonder if he can feel my pulse flying beneath his hand as he curls it around my neck, softly. A warning, maybe. Painless, but I suck in air through my nose all the same, like maybe soon, I’ll need all I can get.
“Remember your fantasy?”
I shift from one foot to the other, squirming as he confronts me with it. Swallowing, I can only nod.
“I wouldn’t hurt you like that.”
What if I wanted you to?
“But we could…” He trails off, shaking his head, like he’s breaking free from a trance. “No, never mind. No.”
“No,” I tell him, in a different tone than he said it in, as I reach up to grab his face. I turn his head toward me, tipping his chin down. “Say it.” I splay my fingers along his jaw, realizing this is the first time I’m touching him here. My fingers are close to his mouth, and I feel the faintest hint of stubble along his jawline, like he shaves every day, and I don’t know why, but I like that.
He looks amused I’m touching him, his hand sliding down to grab my ass under the water as he yanks me even closer. Our bodies press together, my hand slips down to his hip, and our torsos are touching, my breasts crushed against his abs. It feels so good, I just want to please him. Do whatever he wants. I want him to own me, but I’m scared he doesn’t treat his things very well.
“You want me to say it?” He’s smiling.
I let my fingers drift over the softness of his mouth, just touching. “Yes,” I whisper, my body growing warmer, but my face doesn’t feel hot. I’m not embarrassed. Tentativeness has no room in my veins alongside the alcohol.
I’m Aphrodite.
His fingers dig into the sides of my neck, but I can still breathe. I’m on my tiptoes, though, and I’m not sure if he’s making me stand this way, or if I want to be as close to his level as I can be.
“I can never give you your fantasy, for obvious reasons.” He leans closer, my fingers still on his lips. “You deserve better. And I would miss you.”
I want to laugh, but for some reason, neither of us do. I trace my thumb over his bottom lip, and he nips at it, biting me gently.
My heart thunders, and this time, so does the sky. Itwasstorm clouds, and apparently, they’re approaching.
He releases my thumb from between his teeth, but he keeps talking, tightening his hold on me, lifting my chin higher, until the angle makes my neck ache.
“But we can play on the edge.”
I feel delirious, and I no longer know if it’s the alcohol or the weed or… him.But we’ve only kissed once. We haven’t even touched each other, not really. What are we doing? Is this stupid? What is this? Why is it impossible for us to slow down?
