Page 120 of Ominous: Part 1
I see her eyes narrow slightly, but she doesn’t speak.
“Don’t do something to hurt me, because I would never intentionally hurt you.”
“Sounds ominous.” Her tone is laced with suspicion. “Why would something bad happen between us?”
I shrug. “Life is unpredictable.”
“So, if you fuck me over, in other words, you want me to keep being nice to you?”
I shake my head, reaching up and tucking a lock of hair behind her ear, trailing my finger softly over her piercings and feeling her tense on my lap. I wonder if she thinks I’m actually going to hit her or something. If someone has done that to her before. I’ll find out one day, and if anyone in her house has hurt her, I’ll burn them alive.
“No,” I say, dropping my hand down to her arm, kneading her flesh. “I’m not going to fuck you over. Butyouseem to think this will never work. And if you happen to be right, if we get pulled apart, just don’t sabotage yourself to get at me, okay?” I’m not sure what I’m saying is reaching her. I don’t even know what I’m saying. Maybe it’s just everything falls apart around me. Anyone who knows me at all—mainly Dad, Dominic, Luna, Janelle—knows that. I am a catalyst for destruction, and the people closest to me feel the deepest shockwaves.
I don’t.
They leap under my feet and rise up to meet the few who, for reasons unknown to me, decide to stay close enough to get hurt.
I don’t want that for Eden, and she so clearly enjoys hurting, I think she’d dig the knife in deeper and twist if being close to me endangered her heart.
I think it’s sadness in her eyes I see now. Big and round, her lips pursed, like maybe she’s trying not to tell me to fuck off, or maybe she’s trying to stop herself from crying. But in the end, all she says is, “Okay.”
I reach in the console, play the movie over again just for background noise. Then I wrap my arms around her, pick her up, and lean over, depositing her at the end of the couch. Before she can say anything, I stretch out, my head in her lap, a mess still all over my stomach and my pants, but it can wait.
I rest one hand on her thigh, the other under my head.
Her fingers come to my hair without missing a beat, massaging my scalp, and my eyes flutter closed as the movie starts up again. “You wanted me to choke you.” I say the words quietly, and her fingers pause in my hair, but a moment later, they start again.Strangle.I’ve been doing some reading. That’s the correct word, but choking has a violent sex appealstrangulationdoesn’t.
She doesn’t speak. I know better than to talk about my recent education right now.
I squeeze her thigh, her skin hot beneath my fingers. “Have you ever done anything like that before?”
When she answers, her voice is small, like she’s shy. “To myself.”
I smile, my eyes still closed, imagining her getting herself off with one hand around her throat. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. I’ve seen it a lot. In porn.”
I draw circles on her thigh as she does the same in my hair. “Did you like it? When I did it?”
She glides her fingers down to my neck, massaging me. It feels like I’m having an out of body experience, my soul is fucking lifting through my scalp, she’s so good. “Yes.”
A hum of contentment leaves my lips.
“Did you?” she asks, her voice rough. “Like it?” She keeps kneading her fingers over the bones of my neck, down to my shoulders, working out all the kinks.
“I loved it. Everything.”
Silence fills the space between us, not awkward, it’s enjoyable.
But I have to know. Or… I just…want to know.“Have you ever had sex before?”
She pauses our massage, but unlike she did through texts, she can’t run from me this time. I feel her shift a little underneath me, and I don’t say anything, waiting for her answer.
Finally, she just says it. “No.” It’s barely a breath, like she doesn’t want it to be true.
I turn over, then, looking up at her, her hand now on my chest, one still in my hair. Her eyes are on mine, and I can see her flushing from the lights of the movie. I reach my fingers to her side, sliding them under her T-shirt. Her muscles jump with the movement.
My heart is hammering hard inside my chest, just imagining it. Fucking her, for her first time.
