Page 216 of Ominous: Part 1
I don’t know how I can feel so possessive over her well-being around other people but put her in danger with my own hands.
Maybe because I know I’d nevertrulyhurt her. As it is, I thinkshehas the most power to hurt me. I’m just not sure she recognizes it yet.
Her big eyes meet mine, and in the glow of blue lights around my room, her irises take on the color, too. She is the most interesting person in the world to look at.
I grab her hand and snatch it up, bringing the back of it to my lips. My thumb caresses her bracelets, and I knowNic’sname is beneath. I have never wanted to own another person until her. And it’s not that I don’t think she should have autonomy.
She should.
But I never want her to leave.
It conflicts with what I know to be true.People always leave.
But she can’t, which contradicts my belief she should be in control of her choices.
She just… can’t make that one. The one to run.
If I had to chase after her… I think I would rather her be dead than someone else’s.
“We can’t take a bath,” she says, smiling. “Remember?”
I bite her hand playfully, turning my face into her palm, my head propped up in my own, elbow bent on the bed. “You’re on your period. How could I forget? You’ve only told me half a dozen times.”
She rolls her eyes, her head dropping to the pillow. “Means we can’t have a bath.”
“And we can’t have sex, yeah, I got it.” I massage her fingers with mine, gazing down at her as her eyes flutter closed. “But isn’t a bath, like, I don’t know… good for washing away the blood?” I’ve been around enough girls to understand menstrual cycles. I can appreciate their hesitancy, I guess, and maybe how they don’t feel comfortable when their bodies are doing all the other things that accompany periods. But I’ve never seen it as a turnoff. I have never seenmuchas a turnoff, truth be told, and since I’m obsessed with Eden, I’m obsessed witheverythingabout her.
She laughs, keeping her eyes closed. “It can be a mess.”
“I don’t care about a mess.”
She looks at me then, snatching her hand back from my grip, leaving mine to rest against the sheets. “Do you think you’ll ever respect a single boundary of mine?”
“What boundary haven’t I respected? We haven’t done anything you didn’t want to.”What boundaries do you even have? What would you ever hold back from me?
She glances at her hand. I know she’s thinking about the fight downstairs we had those weeks ago. I hurt her, but I didn’t realize it. We never talked about it.
“Hey,” I say quietly.
Her eyes come to mine, but she doesn’t say anything. There’s only a hesitancy in her gaze, like she already doesn’t trust what’s about to come out of my mouth.
I reach for her, feeling her jump as my fingers glide over the inside of her wrist. “This,” I tell her, tracing over a blue vein, “I didn’t know.” I hear her scream inside my head, when Dominic grabbed her. I run circles over her skin now, warm and soft, and she just stares at me. “I don’t ever want to see you hurt. Not even by me.”Nottruly,anyway.
She bites her bottom lip, and my body tenses with want, but I don’t say anything, letting her decide if she should trust me.
But she must decide, instead, to drop this conversation, because the next thing she says is, “I don’t want to take a bath, and have you float in… you know.” Her face doesn’t flush, probably because of the pills, but I can see her discomfort in the way her canine teeth dig into her red lip, blanching it.
It makes my dick fuckingache.
“I’ll giveyoua bath. There’s a difference.” I tug her hand toward me. “Come on. All you have to do is relax.”
She frowns, staring at the sliver of sheets between us. I wanted to give her space to make the decision. The pills won’t make her high, per se, but she’s going to get very sleepy, very soon. I can’t have her fall asleep in the bathtub. Even if I’m right there, it doesn’t take much to drown.
“Why do you want to do this right now?”
Because I’m horny. Because I want to push you. Because I want you to push yourself. I crave these things, with you. Adrenaline highs, and taking care of you, and needing you to rely on me.
I don’t say any of it. It’s too much.
