Page 302 of Ominous: Part 1
He doesn’t look at me. He’s still got his neck elongated, chin up, eyes wide on the ceiling.
I glance upward, too, almost afraid I’ll see something. But there’s nothing but the flickering of the movie. My throat feels tight, my heart pounding hard in my chest. I grip my phone with clammy fingers as I look at my brother again, motionless.
“Seb?”
“Sometimes I hear shit at night.” He turns to look at me, and I bite my cheek, waiting. “Do you hear it too?”
I don’t know what to say. I’m worried if I say no, I’ll upset him, and besides that, it might even be a lie.I hear shit, too.What the hell is wrong with us? Why did I explode in Virginia? Why did Isuggesthe should hold my head under water? What did I think was going to happen when he did? He’d beniceabout it?
Did he murder Winslet? Did he watch her drown?
Sebastian blinks slowly at me, and fear is icy in my gut. He looks possessed. I’d like to think he’s high, but I’m just not sure. I just don’t know.
I take a deep breath and I answer with, “Yeah, you know. There’s a lot of stuff going on in the trailer park.” I laugh a little, to cut the tension.
Sebastian doesn’t even smile. “Do you ever see God?”
There’s a knot in my throat.He’s high, he’s high, he’s high… isn’t he?
Despite the words repeating in my head, I feel anxiety, deep in my stomach. Blooming and bleeding black into my veins. I start to think there’s no hope for either of us. For Eli. For anyone. I start to spiral, in my thoughts.
I need to get back to my room.
“I’m tired, Seb.” My voice shakes, and I worry I’m offending him, but I can’t help it. I swing my legs off the bed after I push the blanket aside, and I stand on weak legs. “I think I’m gonna try to sleep. Maybe you should too, right?”
He doesn’t even blink at me.
Fear runs its way down my spine.
As fast as I can without running, I go back to my room.
My brain.
My own hell.
Under the safety of my covers, I read another message from Luna.
Her: Seriously, are you okay? It didn’t look good… whatever was happening with you two.
My heart races, and I close my eyes tight, not wanting to text her back. I feel strangely defensive of Eli, and I don’t even know why.
But I can’t stop thinking about it. His grip on my face. The way I felt out of control, and I didn’t think he was in it, either.
I don’t open my eyes.
“Do you ever see God?”
Sebastian’s question echoes inside my head. I know it won’t work. I know this can’t be. The darkness is coming, and it’s so quiet. I don’t know why I exploded. I don’t know why I came undone.
But I see a god when I close my eyes.
Dark green and hungry.
I see a god when he says my name.
When I speak his.
Do I ever see God?
I think I do.
I think I do.
But sometimes, I wonder if Winslet saw the same god too.
