Page 31 of Ominous: Part 1
“The vigil, just… consider it, okay?”
I won’t.“You got it, Dad.” The idea of standing around holding a lit candle with Luna, Dominic, and their respective parents makes me want to shatter the glass at my back with the chair legs of my stool.
Dad senses my sarcasm. At least he can pick up on that.
His hazel eyes come to mine again, a muscle in his jaw jumping. “I don’t understand you.” Probably the most honest, raw thing he’s ever said to me.
I curve a brow in surprise, my fingers shaking just slightly against the soft newsprint. Warmth spreads in my chest, and I can’t hide the fact I’m fuckingpleasedhe admitted it.
“I know.”
He runs his tongue over his teeth, keeping his lips closed.
I sweep one foot over the cool tile of the floors. I can feel the grout even beneath my sock. I need to change. I have to pack shit for the tournament. There will be food and freshly laundered singlets thanks to Ms. Pensky, and all the Trafalgar DragonsT-shirts I could want, but I like multiple pairs of sweatpants, boxers, my own snacks, headphones. I’m going to bring Eden back here tonight. I’m going to fuck her while Dominic holds hisvigil.I think about letting Dad know about Eden. He’d like her, smart and driven as she is.
He’d probably try to warn her away from me. Might make this all the more fun.
For a moment, Dad and I just stare at one another. He has a flight to catch, I have an unusual girl to pick up, but in these long seconds, it kind of falls away, taking a backseat to our loathing of one another.
“I know you didn’t do anything,” Dad says, his words gentle. “But it would be really nice if the Landers knew you didn’t too. If they saw you supporting their son.”
I smile at him. “Fuck them.” I think maybe tonight, after the tournament, I’ll stop by and burn down their fucking house and let them know if I had wanted to do something horrible to their daughter,they would’ve known I did it.
Dad’s eyes soften. “Eli, you don’t get it.”
I hate those words. I fuckinghatethem. Because I get it, more than most people. I can observe things without attachment, unlike Dad, unlike the Landers, Dominic, Luna, even Janelle. I can see things without skewed loyalties clouding my vision. The Landers needed someone to blame. I was there but forensics cleared me. None of it matters. They still think I saw something.Didsomething.
My blood grows hot, but I try to reign it in. I try to keep fucking calm. I count in my head. I think about the reward, like Montford taught me. But what is the reward? Dad leaves and we don’t fight? We get through a morning without blowing up at each other?
Doesn’t seem like a fucking reward to me. Not at all.
“Fuck you, too,” I tell him, pointing my index finger in his direction, newspaper floating to the floor, every page coming apart, scattering around the tiles as I get to my feet. “It’syouwho doesn’t get it.” My pulse is racing, and I can feel my blood pressure spiking. “Fuck you, Dad. You’re the reason I’m like this, you know? Why they don’t believe me.You’re the reason I’m fucking like this!”I scream the last word, swiping my hand over the counter, the ceramic mug of coffee hitting the floor and shattering at the exact same time Dad takes a step toward me, the muscles in his shoulders stiff.
His eyes find the splintered mug, white shards glittering from the rising sun poking through the clouds, pouring in through the back doors behind me.
Dark coffee threads through the mess, snaking in rivulets and settling into the grout of the floor.
“All these therapies and medications and fucking time off of work and flights and specialists and you still don’t know the first thing aboutrespect,Eli.” He whispers each word as he stares at the mug, but I’m surprised he hasn’t come closer. Maybe he plans to fuck his secretary in the car to the airport. He doesn’t want to getdirty.
I shrug one shoulder in a lazy gesture even as my mind and heart race, excitement coursing through me. “Sorry to cut into your life,Dad. I never asked for help. If you’d have turned a blind eye like Mom did, you could’ve made perfect attendance at the fucking firm—”
Before I can finish the sentence, he’s coming toward me. A snarl leaves his lips as he gets in my face. I’m as tall as he is, and I’m in better shape. Dad is far removed from his wrestling years.
“Do you remember why I had to shell out all of this money for you? Do you remember the things you said to your mother? Andyou werekillinganimals, Eli. You cannottorturethings and your… your family and expect me to just… just pretend you’re not…” Spit flies from his lips as he averts his eyes, looking over my shoulder and holding up his hands, searching for the word, desperate to hurt me but scared to sink the knife in. He’s mad, and he probably hates me right now, but he still can’t say it, can he?
“I’m not what, Dad?” I whisper the words as I step closer and his gaze snaps to mine again, his nostrils flaring. I can feel the heat and rage coming from his skin. See the sweat down his neck, the vein near bursting beneath the surface above his white collar. “I’m not…what?”
But he still doesn’t say it. He shakes his head, pressing his lips together for a second. “I’m not doing this with you.” He starts to turn but I dart my hand out, unable to stop myself. My fingers dig into the soft, expensive fabric of his suit jacket and he stills, his muscles stiff beneath my grip. “Eli. Let go of me.”
I smile at him. My adrenaline is through the roof and all I want to do is smash his fucking head against the glass door at our side. I don’t even know why. I have no clue where these impulses come from. But I want to hurt him.
And I want him to hurt me back.
“No.”
He grabs my wrist to get my hand off of him, but I tighten my grip.
“You’re pathetic, you know that?” I keep my smile as I say the words. “I’ve heard you talk about it. To the doctors and especially the nurse you were fucking up in Idaho. I know how you really feel, Dad.” I step even closer, our chests nearly touching. “Just fucking say it.”
