Page 193 of Ominous: Part 1
I’m breathing hard, my pulse so loud, I’m not sure if I really heard him correctly.High? Am Ihigh?
“I’m not… I’m not on drugs,” I gasp out. “What are you talking about?”
He closes his eyes tight. I wonder what he sees there, inside his head. He doesn’t open them, but he nudges his nose against mine, so soft. He takes a shaky breath. “Nothing. I just… don’t want you to regret anything, okay?” Slowly, he opens his eyes. “I fucking want to see it. Trust me, I do. But when you’re thinking clearly, all right?” He kisses me again, like he knows maybe I don’t understand. Then he pulls back, letting go of my heart last as he settles back into his seat, adjusting his pants and his erection, tying up the string on his sweats, like it’ll keep his self-control strong.
I right myself, too, trying to breathe as I glance at the time.
“We should go.” I say it only to have something to say. In my head, I’m repeating his words about thinking clearly. It doesn’t fit with who I suspect he really is. I don’t want to let my guard down and think his sweet nothings mean more than they do, but it’s so hard when he’s so good to me.
“Okay,” he says. He starts the car, hand on the shifter, and this time we’re both staring at it. Slowly, we look up at the same time.I still want it.But he doesn’t mention it again. All he asks is, “You’re my girlfriend, okay?”
I raise my brows, not a calculated move. “What?”
“Do I need to spell it out for you? Don’t let Dominic, or anyone else, kiss you. Don’t let him touch you again like he did before. Don’t fuck anyone else. And I’m only fucking you.” He doesn’t quantify our time. When this agreement ends.
But it’s all I’m thinking about.
This can’t last forever. I know I should just enjoy him being mine while I can, but jealousy for when he’s not anymore is already stabbing my gut.
It’s like a lease and I want to own him.
I don’t say that, though. Instead, I say, “What about kissing? You only kissing me too?”
He smiles, dropping his gaze as he shakes his head. He puts the car in drive, and it’s only when he’s glancing in his rear view as we pull out, his eyes just barely jumping over mine, that he answers me. “Possessive.”
I don’t deny it.
“I like that.”
“I’d like if you answered me.”
He glances at me with a smirk. “Yes, Nightmare Girl. Just you.”
31
Eden
I don’t sleep.
I replay it all, over and over in my head, just like I did last weekend.
Sex with Eli. The feel of his hand over my mouth. His words in my ear. The way he held me. I get off to it, three times in a row. Then, sometime around two in the morning, I get up.
I do a workout video, careful with my steps so I don’t wake anyone up. I read throughThe Kybalion.I finishThe Picture of Dorian Gray, highlighting a passage over and over and over, so often I tear through the thin, yellow paper.
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself, with desire for what its monstrous laws have made monstrous and unlawful.
I think I hear words coming from my fan, turned on high.
I stop, tilting my head up and watching the blades spin as I strain my ears.
Then there’s the creak of a door.
My heart races as I freeze, my breath hitching as I drop my gaze to my bedroom door. Oscar Wilde’s book is in my hand, clenched tight in my fingers.
Sebastian walks in.
He slowly shuts the door behind him, his phone clutched in his hand.
