Page 232 of Ominous: Part 1
I’m eighteen. You don’t even know how much time we’ve spent together.
If you did, you’d never let me out of this house again.
Mom clears her throat. She still doesn’t turn to face me. “Well, you know, you’re wanting to get a scholarship, so you really need this semester to count, right? It’s the last one to show on your transcripts?”
I don’t speak. I’m not sure I trust my own voice to carry me through this. It was one thing to leave Eli willingly. It would be another thing entirely if I was forced apart from him. Panic claws beneath my skin.
“And…”
I hold my breath, keeping perfectly still, waiting for her to say what it is she’s really thinking.
“I don’t know.”
I don’t exhale yet.
“I’ve just… Eli is a nice boy,”no he’s not,“but Sebastian mentioned some of his friends hang around shady people Seb knows, and Eli was involved in that poor girl’s disappearance and—”
“Mom.” I’ve found my words again because anger bursts through my fear. “Sebastianisshady people. And Eli wasnotinvolved.”
Mom sighs, dropping her head for a moment before she turns to face me. I grab my covers as her mouth twists, her eyes down on the floor, the book held to her chest, almost mirroring my own.
I pull the sheets up high, over my knees, my bracelets, my wrist, my notebook.
I think about Eli going through my student file. The truth I think I’d rather he never get his hands on. I know Mom is going to go for it now.
“Eden.” Her words are soft. “With everything that happened, back at Shoreside…” My wrist feels as if it burns with her words, although the wound is long gone. The nurse didn’t see it. The principal when he separated us. Nic didn’t tell anyone or I would’ve done more than just sit in the nurse’s office. He was too much of a pussy. But Mom saw later. The day I got suspended. “And you’ve been avoiding Amanda,” her big eyes meet mine. “She said she tried to make plans, but you never got back to her about them. She just wants to make sure you’re… doing okay.”
I feel a flash of hatred toward Amanda whereas before, I’d only had a lazy sort of indifference. Clearly, though, she’s reached out to my mom since I’m not responding to her texts again.
“This isn’t like that.” I hate the way I sound like a child to my own ears, my voice whiny. But Eli and I aren’t children. It’s different. “We’re taking it slow,” I say, keeping my tone even as I fucking lie. “It’s not anything crazy, Mom.” I scoff, to add truth to my bullshit.
Mom seems to sense it. She tucks an errant curl behind her ear and smiles politely at me. I hate polite smiles. “I don’t think you’ve been sleeping well, you know. And if something happens at Trafalgar…”
I want to throw this notebook across the room. Shame is hot around my ears, and worse than that, I feel Eli being snatched away from me far too soon. “Nothing is going to happen.” I grit those words out between my teeth.
“I know, honey. I know you needed space and a fresh start, but I’m just reminding you. If somethingdoeshappen, it’s not going to look good on your applications. You have plans, Eden, don’t ruin them for a boy.” She sighs, her features softening from fake civility to pity, and the latter makes my skin crawl. She doesn’t see it, or else doesn’t take it as a warning, because a moment later, she’s sitting on the edge of my bed and locking her calloused hands around my ankle, my sheets between our touch. “I want the best for you. Eli is very nice. But there’s a life beyond this one… if you want it.”
My mouth feels dry, but I don’t look away from her as I bite the inside of my cheek before I speak, trying to steady myself.
“You don’t think I know that?”You think I don’t want to get the fuck out of here? Away from you, so I never end up like you or Reece? Away from Sebastian before I become him exactly?I want to rip my ankle from her grip. Tell her she’s blind and she should’ve had this talk with Sebastian, and she shouldn’t have made him my babysitter when I was too young to hang out with him and his friends while she worked the job she had to because she barely graduated high school because she was too wrapped up in my fucking dad.
“Of course, but our heads can be distracted by our hearts, Eden.”
Get out. Get out. Get out.Mom is kind and sweet and soft, and no one has ever misjudged me more than her. Even Reece sees my defiance. It’s why we constantly butt heads.
“I’m going to college.” I fist the sheets in my hand. “Nothing will change that.”
Her eyes search mine for a long moment and I wonder if she believes me. But I can’t tell, and eventually she nods and stands, retracting her hand from my ankle, dragging her fingers along the length of my bed like she doesn’t quite want to let me go yet. As if she ever had me at all. Maybe before Reece, I guess, but even as a child, I was ingiftedprograms, and we couldn’t relate, and I’ve never seen her read a book a day in my life. She just… doesn’t get me. She doesn’t understand how much I won’t fuck this up, my dreams, even if it means breaking my own heart to pieces.
“Maybe just stay home this weekend, except for work? Spend some time at home next week, too?” She turns her back on me as she says it, a sign I can’t talk my way out of this one. “Text Manda back and if you want, I can drive you down to see her next Saturday morning.”
Get. Out.
But if I’m not smart about this, she’ll forbid me from Eli for far longer than a week, and he had mentioned his beach house later this month, but maybe he doesn’t mean it anymore, after our fight. Still, I think I could talk him into most anything, because he can do the same to me.
And while I could lie to Mom and sneak around, it’s unnecessary trouble I don’t want to cause. Just for this weekend, I’ll keep my distance outside of school hours. That’s it.
I don’t say it, though. It’s hard for me to give in so easily.
