Page 187 of Like Grim Death: Part One
My body is stiff, hands by my sides.
I want to shove him away and jump in that fucking pool. I want to drag Sid out by her hair.
But I don’t move.
Can’tmove.
“Why are they doing this?” The words are whispered. “Is she…drunk or something?”
Atlas presses a soft kiss to my cheek. Is anyone paying attention? Does anyone care? Is this just…my life now? “Don’t be naïve, Ella. Of course she’s drunk. He is too. But aren’t we our true selves when we’re fucked up?”
I don’t know. I don’t really get very drunk anymore. And if I did, would I be clinging to Atlas? Would I be vomiting up all of our secrets? Am I a hypocrite?
But I’m doing this for our own good, not because I want to fuck Atlas.
“Come on.” Slowly, I force myself to look at Atlas instead ofthem.“Unlessyou’regoing to do something about it,” he says the words like they’re laughable, “let’s go, all right?”
I swallow the tight knot in my throat.Just look up, Mavy. Just look up.
But he doesn’t.
He doesn’t fucking look up, or I’d have heard him by now. Wouldn’t I? Wouldn’t he care?Wouldn’t he?
Still… Fuck Atlas too. Fuck everyone for discounting me.
I shrug out from under Atlas’s grip and march to the deep end, standing onlyinchesfrom Sid and her brother.
I want to kick her head in.
I don’t move.
It takes the quiet hush of everyone else for him to notice me. My pulse is hammering so hard inside my eardrums, I’m not even sure I’ll hear myself speak when hefinallyloses the smile on his face and lifts his head to stare up at me with glassy blue eyes, water dripping down the sharp planes of his face.
His fingers tighten on the ledge of the pool, caging Sid to the wall.
She doesn’t look at me, but a small giggle leaves her lips. She’s obviously drunk, but I don’t fucking care. She finds out the things she did, then she doesthis?
Fuck her.
“This why you wanted me to go upstairs?” I jerk my chin as I stare at Maverick, indicating his fucking sister.
He slants his head, leaning in closer to Sid, his lips inches from her mouth, his eyes never leaving mine as she laughs again, a drunken sound. “I didn’t tell you to come back down.”
Are you fuckingkiddingme?I clench my hands into fists at my side, taking a deep breath in through my nose. The urge to lash out, to hurt one of them, it grows inside my skin. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” I snap. “What the fuck are you doing? Why are you being like this?” I see red blur my vision as he stares at me and the urge to vomit up more words, to lose all control, it’s so strong my stomach aches, keeping it in. But I don’t want to look more desperate than I already do, so I bite my tongue so hard a sharp pain lights up along the side of it.
Maverick huffs a laugh with his mouth closed, still too near Sid’s, who refuses to look up at me, her legs wrapped around my boyfriend.
“I don’t want to see you right now,” he finally says, speaking slowly. As he blinks, I notice his eyes are rimmed with red. He’s drunk or high or both, but that’s no excuse. He certainly wouldn’t accept it as one from me. He nods toward the gym, the exit of the pool. “Go to our room.”
I clack my teeth together as I stare at him, but I feel so small with everyone’s eyes on me and the silence throughout the pool room, aside from the gentle thud of bass. “Why?” It’s a broken question. Hoarse. I hate that it shows my weakness, but I want to curl up in his arms. I want things to be okay. I don’t know what I did to upset him so much. “Why are you doing this?”
His tattooed fingers flex against the cement ledge. “Go,” he says, a touch above a whisper. That’s all he gives me.
One fucking word.
Pressure builds behind my eyes. I glance at Sid’s shiny, slick hair. I want to grab it. I want to push her down in the pool and drown her. Why did I think we were starting to become some kind of fucking team?
Why did I even offer to help her? She’s a fucking bitch.
