Page 51 of Like Grim Death: Part One
I roll my eyes but hold his gaze. “She only likesme,motherfucker.”
He gazes at me a long moment, a smug smile on his lips before he lets his eyes drift closed again. “Don’t get too cocky. That’s how you get left.”
I imagine Ella leaving me, or trying to. But that’s the thing.I wouldn’t fucking let her.“Alivia,” I say instead, remembering the name of the girl he said he was with last night at Nox. The one who has apparently been hitting him. I vaguely remember her from high school. Even then, Cain was a big whore, but he hung around this chick. She always dyed her hair, that’s the only reason she stands out. I remember it was orange a lot. I forget everything else about her. There’re so many things I’ve either forgotten or blocked out over the years, and I don’t want to think too much on if it’s the marijuana or the trauma, but I lift my fingers lazily, circling vaguely toward his face because he’s cracked open his eyes again with her name. “It’s that little chick with orange hair. You still talk to her? She, what? Your Ophelia?” I drop my hand by my side, laughing a little because I’m fucking high.
Cain turns away from me and closes his eyes once more. “You bring up Ophelia’s name again in the wrong company and you might be responsible for a homicide.”
“Anotherhomicide, you mean.” I exhale, my lids closing, heavy and pressing on my eyes. I don’t have enough energy to go down this path of the orange-haired girl, but my thoughts on Ophelia are very clear. “If I see her near Luce again, I’ll kill her myself.”
Cain grunts, and I swear I think it’s in agreement.
For a long while after, we sit in silence, half asleep. Part of my brain is still alert, just waiting for Ella to walk down those stairs, but the other half is being dragged down to darkness. In my mind, I hear Father Tomas’s voice in my ear. Mikhail’s threat. And a nagging question.Did Atlas see any of this go down?
I almost wish Father Tomas was here, meeting me in the garage right now to unburden some of my thoughts.
My back aches, thinking of my scars, fresher wounds from when I couldn’t help myself, my brain clicking the memories of the whip into place.
It must be enough to calm me, because my mind goes quiet the longer we sit, and I start to drift off. It feels good, relaxing, just sitting here beside a softly snoring Cain. He rarely lets his own guard down, but his fights have been pretty brutal lately, whether they’re with a girl or not. He almost crashed his goddamn Camaro two weeks ago at the strip on a Friday night, fucking around with Ezra.
He hadn’t been drinking; he was just fucking exhausted.
I never would have thought it before, but now I imagine he’s having girl problems. Usually, Cain has every problem butthat one.
Girls have problems with his lack of commitment and utter indifference to things like feelings.
Now though… Well, if he’s letting a woman beat his ass up,somethingis going on.
In my head, I see Ella’s green eyes. I wasn’t much for commitment either, until her. I wasn’t much of anything, really, until her. I don’t even know what it is, exactly. She ran from me in those woods, she wanted me to hurt her when we fucked the first time, and afterward, she was content to let me carry her in my arms into Liber.
She let me control her.
The only thing I feel I have control over in my lifeisher.
I blink my eyes open. I think of Atlas walking the street. Laughter in the dark. It couldn’t have been Father Tomas. What the fuck would he be laughing about?Is this how it happened for Lucifer? When he started to lose his motherfucking mind?
“You heard anything more?” I break the silence even though I know Cain is sleeping, because I can’t stop thinking about it now that Mikhail made his threat since Lucifer didn’t obey orders. “About the initiate?” It’s not surprising they told us nothing. The 6 goes beyond Alexandria. Beyond this state, this country, even. Like the mafia, it’s far-reaching. Unlike the mafia, almost no one knows who we are. There could have been a thousand reasons they brought this initiation ritual here. To bind us, bring us all together, keep an eye on us. Maybe the unlucky fucker was related to one of the 6 who were in the circle. Anything.
“No.” Cain barely speaks the word. Mainly a grunt. He wants me to shut up, but I cannot shake the fucking feeling someone was watching me on the street, and not Atlas. Not Father Tomas.But did Atlas know Tomas was coming? What was that shit he said, about skeletons in closets?
I think about Shadow Villa. The movie me and Ella are going to watch. The call I made to Tomas. The way he was whispering. Is it because he was spying on me?
Silence stretches between me and Cain. I should go upstairs, change clothes, get into bed beside Ella. I should hold onto these small, quiet moments.Let it go, let it go, let it go.
Then I hear it again. Something like laughter on Corpus Avenue, echoing in my mind.
“Do you ever feel like someone is…watching you?” I ask the question quietly, but Cain abruptly stops snoring, and I know he heard me. It’s probably how we all sleep.Half awake, one eye open to danger.
“Okay, MJ, what the fuck do you mean?” Cain’s response is gruff, but I know him. I’ve known him my entire life. There was something just under his taunt, his tone. Something like a…knowing.
I stare up at the high ceiling in the darkness, my mind hazy with exhaustion and marijuana, but it only makes me more paranoid, somehow. It was indica, and I know my fucking weed. But this time, it doesn’t stop that itch under my skin, like someone is outside this house. Someone isstalking us.
There was that dead kitten at Julie’s house.
Ezra’s mom’s kidnapping, which apparently RC is investigating.
I thought it had something to do with Jeremiah fucking Rain. And the fucker has been silent lately. I didn’t think he’d really do it; stay away. I didn’t think he had it in him.
But maybe… someone iskeepinghim away. Or maybe he never left at all.
