Page 199 of Like Grim Death: Part One
“Is it a lie?” I shouldn’t press. I should leave it alone. Whatever is between Maverick and I, it’s been there since the beginning. He was always watching me, and not just when we met as adults.
Before that… as my…angel.Obviously, we had no idea what we were to each other, not really, or we wouldn’t have… done what we did. But we weren’t officially introduced until that night on Lover’s Death, and the year after, and it can be sick and disturbing, but we didn’t grow up knowing we are… what we are, to each other.
“No.” I hear him swallow, his eyes still on mine. Despite his denial, there’s something he isn’t saying. I don’t really think it has anything to do withme,so much as withher.
“Why are you with her?” I don’t ask the question with bite. I don’t want to be with him instead. Aside from the very obvious reason why we can’t, we aren’t in love with one another. There’s a closeness, maybe coming from sharing fucked-up childhoods because of the same person. Maybe our souls latched onto each other. But no matter how much I tried to run, I never got Lucifer out of my head.
If Jeremiah couldn’t sway me, Maverick never could. I will never leave Lucifer again. Jeremiah will never come back. I don’t let myself think of it now though. It still hurts.
“I don’t know.” Maverick answers with regret. It’s thick in his words, each one slow. “I adore her. She is the reprieve I need. I’m in love with her, and I want to protect her from everything, but the only way I can do that is by leaving her. And I can’t let her go.”
I hike my leg up higher around his, so his knee is between my thighs. I glance at Lucifer. His mouth closed, smoke trails from his nostrils. A twisted smile pulls on his lips, and he slips something else from his pocket.
I’m distracted from what it is when Maverick makes a strangled noise, then whispers my name.“Sid.”
I twist in his arms, resting my head against his chest as I bury myself in his scent. “I know why else you’re with her.” My lips are smushed against his hoodie, his arms pulled close around me, hands resting on my low spine.
He laughs, the boyish sound I love. One full of deceit because Maverick is a demon too. But he doesn’t let those around him burn. Doesn’t let anything wicked touch us, as much as he can shield us. And he’s conflicted with Ella because it’shimputting her in the line of fire. At least with me, it isn’t his choice. “Why’s that, Angel?”
“She sees it.” I’m barely whispering the words, but I tilt my head up, my chin pressed against his chest.
He dips his head, his eyes meeting mine. Such a pale blue. A fucking angel, if there ever was one among us. Angels can be demons too. That’s usually how they start out. “Sees what?”
“Dark and light. You’re both. Protector and tormentor.” Surprising me, he doesn’t smile, so I keep talking, speaking only for him as my husband pushes liquor bottles aside while he moves closer to the table. “She needs control to feel love. You need to be controlling to give it. You punish her if she gets out of line.” A small smirk pulls at his lips, a brow lifting, but I keep talking. “But you’d do anything for her, and it makes her feel safe. You’d do anything for us too, and she knows it, and it kind of…eats at her.”
His smile falters. “I will always protect her but I will nevernotlook out for you too. I don’t care how anyone feels about it.” There’s an anger beneath his words.
I press closer to him. “I know.” I mean it. “But she’s never had anyone to call her own. Not her mother, no dad, moving as much as they did, no friends.” I don’t know why I’m defending her. But maybe it’s because of how eager she was to help me. To help Rain. And Iknowshe loves Maverick. No one would put up with the shit we deal with, being women among the 6, if there wasn’t love there. Money, prestige, luxury. Sure, they’re all wins, and for a poor girl from a trailer park, it could be the good life.
But I know better.
It isn’t.
“She isn’t mad you love us.”Maybe, a little,but I don’t say that. “She’s scared we’re going to take you away from her.” My mind goes to my husband. ToElla.Ophelia. Julie. Even Finn. Maverick, sometimes. All the women who stare at Lucifer like he’s Satan’s gift to earth.
Jealousy. It comes to life inside my veins. I think of Nikita, even, pre-burnt corpse. Coke. Drugs. All the things that could wreck my marriage.
Mav must see something spark in my face. Or maybe it’s more like a shadow. He presses a kiss to my forehead, and I love the feel of it.
“She’s right.” Lucifer’s throaty voice.
Both Mav and I pull back, but we still hold onto each other.
My mouth goes dry when I see what he’s holding. A rolled up hundred, a line of coke on the black table, amongst all the bottles of liquor, soda, water.
“Now that we’ve got it out of the way, all the ways Ella loves you and you her, you two fucking sit there and watch me get high.” His words are cold, and my pulse beats too fast in my chest.
“Bro.” The word is slurred from Mav, and I’m seeing double of Luce and the coke and how he’s leaning down, pushing the hundred up his nose. “Don’t—”
But it’s too late. Lucifer sniffs, turning his head and making the white line disappear. He drops the hundred, leaning back into the couch, his chin tilted up, a smile on his lips. “God, I missed that shit.” Then his eyes come back to me. “Get your sexy ass over here, baby girl.”
Maverick stands, unsteady, then he leans down and before I can say or do anything, he scoops me up, my world tilting.
“Put her the fuck down,” Lucifer says, his voice rough.
Maverick laughs, but he’s walking toward his brother, and slowly, he sets me in his lap. I wrap my arms around Lucifer’s neck, knowing I should be more upset about the coke, but I’m so drunk, my whole fucking face is numb.
Maverick stares at Lucifer, his lips inches from my husband’s. “Give me the rest.”
