Page 29 of Something Good
I still couldn’t wrap my head around the way Will had effortlessly claimed me as his. I was nothing. Just a skater boy with an attitude on the verge of homelessness. I had no business getting involved with him, but there was a part of me that couldn’t resist the allure.
Maybe he was right. Maybe he really could be my something good. I would just have to make sure I didn’t bring him down with me. I didn’t know when he was heading to college, but I figured we had six weeks. Six weeks to soak up all his goodness, and then I would set him free. He’d go off and make a life for himself with a family, kids, and a minivan. And for the whole of my life, I’d have these six weeks to remind me that once upon a time, I’d had something good too.
“I should probably head home and check on Jimmy.”
Will sat up, propping himself on his elbow, and looked down at me, forehead creased with concern. “How’s he doing with everything going on?”
I sat up, mirroring his pose so we were face to face. “Not good. He’s barely left the house. Refuses to talk to any of his friends. He barely eats anything, and I’m not sure if it’s because he’s afraid we’re going to run out of food or because he’s too anxious to eat. He tries to play it cool, but I can tell he gets really nervous anytime I leave because I’m pretty sure he’s afraid I won’t come back. I almost didn’t even come here today.”
“Why did you text me to come? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you did, but you’ve barely spoken to me in the last week. I was surprised you reached out.”
“Honestly? I don’t know. I was just sitting on my bed, staring at my closet door, and I needed to get out of there. We spend most of our time in our bedroom because we don’t have any other furniture, and sometimes, those four walls are suffocating.” I stood, feeling restless. “And sometimes, I just need a break from Jimmy’s shit too. God, I’m a horrible person, but it’s like his anxious energy works its way into every crack and crevice in that room until I’m choking on it.”
“Hey.” Will grabbed my hand, pulling me closer. “You’re not an asshole. You’re under a huge amount of pressure, pressure no one our age should ever have to deal with. Anyone is bound to need a break.”
I understood what he was saying, but I couldn’t help feeling like I should be doing more. I’d already applied for jobs at a dozen different businesses in town, but there were still some places on my list I hadn’t gotten to yet. “I should probably get back.”
“I can give you a ride.”
“Nah, that’s okay. I can walk.”
“Sammy, just let me give you a goddamn ride.”
“Wow, golden boy. Bossy is kinda hot on you.”
“Fuck off,” he said, but there wasn’t any heat in his words. “Just let me take you home. It’s what friends do.”
“Friends, huh? Is that what we are?” I didn’t know why I kept poking at this point, why I kept throwing out the flirty banter. I’d just told him I didn’t think I could only be friends, but I didn’t know if I was capable of more than that either.
He stopped, turning toward me, his face serious. “I’m whatever you need me to be.”
God, he was so damn sweet. “I don’t know what I need. I should walk away from you before you get hurt. My life’s a dumpster fire, and you’re gonna get burned.”
“I’m not scared of getting hurt. You wouldn’t do that to me, Sammy.”
“How do you know? How are you so sure?”
He stepped into my space and cupped the back of my neck, rubbing one thumb along my jawline. “You like to let everyone think you’re a bad boy. You put on this tough, asshole exterior, but I know the real you. You never stopped caring about me when I left all those years ago, or you wouldn’t have been so pissed about it when I came back. And if you still didn’t care, you wouldn’t have insisted on taking me home last week when I was drunk, and you wouldn’t have called me to come here today. I don’t think there’s anyone I’m safer with.”
He closed the distance between us, but where I was expecting some sort of passionate meeting of mouths, he simply pressed his lips to my forehead. “Don’t worry. I’ll be careful with you too.” Grasping my hand, he tugged me through the brush toward the main path. “Come on. Let’s get you home.”
I was still reelingfrom Will’s words at the creek. His blind faith in me was terrifying. I wasn’t sure I could ever be the person he thought I was, but damned if he didn’t make me want to try.
We rode back to my house in comfortable silence just as the sun began its final descent. It’d be dark in an hour, but for now, everything was bathed in shades of yellow, orange, and gold. Will’s sun-kissed skin glowed bronze as the rays slanted in through the open windows of his Jeep, the breeze ruffling the dark strands of his hair. His hand rested over mine on my thigh, his thumb running lazy circles on my skin, but he left me alone with my thoughts, not pressuring me to say anything.
As we pulled into my driveway, I struggled to figure out what to say, how to make sense of all the thoughts and feelings swirling inside me. In the end, I didn’t need to say anything at all. Will leaned over and kissed me softly, then said, “I’m here, Sammy. I’m only a text away. You don’t have to do any of this alone.”
I swallowed hard. “I don’t know if I can be who you want me to be. I don’t know if I can be who you deserve.”
“Stop. I don’t need anything more than you. Just you. I’ll take whatever you can give me.”
Unsure how to respond, I leaned forward, kissing him again, trying to infuse it with all the thoughts I couldn’t put into words. Then I got out of the car and jogged into the house without looking back.
As I crossed the threshold, I pulled up short when I spotted Jimmy sitting on the floor in the clean spot where the couch used to be, with his knees pulled up to his chest and his eyes blazing.
“Where have you been?” he demanded.
I wanted to fire back with a pissy retort, some quip about it being none of his goddamned business, and maybe if it’d been anyone else, I would have, but this was Jimmy, and like a cornered animal, he was lashing out. He was scared.
